loneliness is eating me up inside

Not everyone else is happy and have lots of friends, @shradzy

But I know it can seem that way.

Loneliness is a horrible feeling. It's like slowly being eaten alive.

The last two days I've simply wept with this kind of overwhelm. I don't know what else there is for me at this stage.?

Hey @Kyle1 @shradzy ,

Sounds like quite a low place to sit in. Loneliness is such a real thing.

In the past, I found myself in a similar situation. I was around people but felt so empty inside. I felt like the walking dead. I was only existing and not living. The more I looked at others, the worse I felt. I’d see people on social media and only wished I had ‘their life’. I think it was. My age group back then where people were in the prime of their life - newly married, just had children, travelling the world, beginning their careers…

Now, as I look back, I can’t say I covet them at all. So many have fallen into depression, many are now no longer with us - the ‘glimmer’ has faded.

Yes, the initial years were tough, but now, I couldn’t be happier. I live alone but do not feel isolated or lonely. I’ve learnt to focus on my own strengths and live the life that is for me. I can’t keep trying to live someone else’s life and expect to me happy.

The more I looked at other people and their lives, the more I was missing the here and now.

Learn to live in the NOW. You can only make changes to the now.

Hugs. I hope connecting on these forums will be helpful for you to feel a sense of connection and belonging with those who have been down that path.

@shradzy

Being lonely is such a horrible feeling, I know it well. The things you are doing are really great. You could also maybe try a group that likes what you like, is there a sport you might like, or a club, for me that would be the local textiles group. They have clubs for just about everything.

I met a close friend through a tafe course. It was an in person course, not sure if you have time or something you want to study. Keep putting yourself out there and talk to people, if you think you could like someone ask if they would like to catch up for a coffee. I wish there was something like tinder for just friends. There are lots of lonely people out there. There is always us here.

Being in a group setting isn't necessarily going to stop you from loneliness. Sometimes it makes you compete with others just to fit in. Do you really have the strength for that?

Maybe the loneliness comes from your inner self doubting your own abilities and self-worth. Find other things that you can do on your own that gives you self-worth and self-esteem. Look up some lists online under personal rewards and pamper yourself a little. It's amazing how a hobby can help like a raised garden bed from Bunnings or a free course at TAFE. Virtual off campus courses will give you contact with people but also skills and a hobby. Other things that you can try are walking by the water, noticing bird life and photography.

Being around people at the moment might be a challenge so don't put yourself through the pain. Find something that interests you about you and put an effort into it each day. You'll get there and before you know it you'll have a more fantastic time than being with others. Keep aquaintants, you can easily distance yourself from them. One friend is enough. Keep your chin up. Loneliness can come and go but self care will overcome this.