ClockFaceSenior Contributor
Im sick of not mattering
Those that read my long posts probably realise that things have been building up recently and they have come to a head tonight, over quite a small thing.
Im sick of my sister ordering me around, treating me like Im not in the pain Im in, that I am pathetic, the same for my mental health. Im sick of my Mum having my sisters back and treating me like I deserve everything I get from my sister. Im sick of my Mum having the same opinion as my sister. Im sick of them treating me as if Im not in as much pain as I say and expecting me to do things that I physically and mentally cant do and shouldnt do. Just on my back, I dont understand how they can see all the evidence and have such little regard for me that they ignore it and say the pain isnt real. I mean 12 facet joints are dysfunctional, Ive had one procedure and am due in less than 3 weeks to have another one. My Mum puts all this effort into gaining the relationship she had with my sister back, but not only does she not put any into having one with me, she actively works against having one. She constantly prioritises my sister over me because she wants the relationship.
Dad and I talked, I was quite loud but at the end of it Dad said he doesnt know what to do and essentially that he wasnt going to do anything. He wont stand up to Mum and tell her to stop treating me the way she does. That Im not always in the wrong. Sometimes I might actually be truthful, where it came in that I wasnt a truthful person I dont understand, because I was always truthful growing up. He wont tell my sister to pull her head in, to treat me with some decency.
I clearly dont matter, not to any of them. Im going to do anything and everything I can do to leave ASAP
