Trying to 'unf**k' your life

I'm sorry this is your experience @justanotherguy @chibam , and I wish it could have been better for you.

However, I'm also mindful of those who have been through the mental health system and has found it highly beneficial. I know this was my case.

I'm not sharing this to 'rub salt in the wound', but rather, to capture the idea that it doesn't mean ALL therapists etc are 'idiots' etc...

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@justanotherguy wrote:

My psychologist is a wonderful advocate for this kind of exposure, she does research into such things and shines a light on the system wherever she can. She helped me greatly in dealing with a broken system, it would have taken me years on my own.

One problem is it pays so well; the other is they get total control (with legislation to back them up), and plus society also turns a blind eye so they don't even have to be competent. It's like the ultimate fantasy job for sadistic morons. And once you are a patient, everything can be turned against you. Life is hard enough without dealing with these kinds of people.

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Sounds like you've done well for yourself, @justanotherguy 🙂👍

My two main therapists weren't crusaders against the problem. They were the problem. Mind you, that was over 10 years ago now (nearly 20 since it all began 😳). Maybe times have changed for the better, and therapists like yours are more the rule then the exception.

I'd like to think so. But the industry as a whole is still stymied by the deeper faults of the overall system, such as the "Golden Rule" of therapy to never give patients any actual assistance or definitive advice on their problems. The number of people who have to languish in misery because of this rediculous rule absolutely boggles the mind. And, unfortunately, even genuinely good therapists don't have any real power to defy it, lest they find their careers ruined by the senior therapists who preside over the industry.

@tyme , thanks for your input, but I expected so much and gained so little from the process. This forum is one of the only ways I can vent, and I know I'm not alone. If the current medical industry was as hopelessly incompetent as MH you would never hear the end of it. There is still little way to deal with it but for forums like this.

I do understand that some people have very complex problems (as SANE hopes to help) and it must be hard to look at someone and try to help their mental health knowing nothing about them, but that's the whole point. Not once or twice, but for years they seemed to have little interest or insight, just stringing me along for seemingly no reason at all.

I'm hearing you @justanotherguy . It sounds so traumatic and painful.

And yes, you are right. I'm sure you are not alone in this.

You deserve so much more. You deserve to be treated like a person and not a 'case' or 'number'.

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@tyme wrote:

However, I'm also mindful of those who have been through the mental health system and has found it highly beneficial. I know this was my case.

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@tyme I think you are one of the rare few that found the mental health system beneficial. I have never met anyone else who has said that. I know of many people whom the mental health system has been useless, and many who instead of gaining a benefit, have experienced trauma from the mental health system. I personally have had a few rare helpful mental health clinicians, but many unhelpful and traumatic experiences.

@justanotherguy It is a huge problem that the mental health system gives some people power over others, especially in regards to determining who lacks mental capacity to make their own decisions. The current safeguards are not sufficient for such a huge risk of abuse. And people who are traumatisted by the system are often powerless to make complaints and are not believed if they do.

@CrazyChick , I think the main problem in my case was I am clearly able to look after myself to a high degree, they completely misread my situation, and severely underestimated my ability to call them out. I think I sent my local clinic into a spin because they don't seem to want to talk to me anymore. I have had vague suggestions by some that I was faking illness, which is false, it took me years to realise my 'treatment' was a sham, it took a while to gather enough evidence to defend myself properly. That there was so much evil embedded in the system was more than I had expected, and it made it very hard to be listened to for a long time.

@chibam @tyme @CrazyChick ,

At some point I have to try and put it behind me, but a meme years ago was that any relationship you have with someone will take the same number of years to 'get over'. Who knows? It could be true for any relationship (job, partner, family member, etc). I was strung along for 8 years before I finally realised the sham, plus the extra years of getting out.

But being angry is tiring. My life plans never included any of this. What can I do now? Many people discover unsern problems in society and turn it into a career. I don't think family members understand the scale of the problem with MH, nor what I've been through - I still get suggestions to go back on medication (for what?????). Is there any point joining a system that's still so broken? Like I said, it has taken me years to understand myself, how can I understand someone else in a 60 minute session?

@chibam @tyme @CrazyChick ,

Lol, literally mentioned in another post psychology/mental health as a meme, and just posted ideas on joining system. Lots of psych workers have had/have problems themselves, I was trying to avoid the same thing.

Hi @CrazyChick ! Have we met? I don't recall bumping in to you on these forums before.

It's nice to meet a community guide who can relate to us victims of therapy so well.

I often wonder what the real lay of the land is in terms of good therapy vs. bad therapy. It seems like every time somebody mentions their harmful therapy experiance, as voice floats in from somewhere to say: "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. But remember everybody, therapy helps lots of people, too!"

Fair enough. But what are the actual odds? Is it 99% being helped, 1% getting screwed? Or 99% getting screwed, 1% helped? 50-50? It's impossible to tell. Very few people who could contribute to the conversation ever do.

I hate to think that I might be part of a whiny, very tiny minority, selfishly spoiling the party for everybody else who is getting along just fine. But if we victims of the system exist in massive proportions, then I think it's right and important for us to speak out; and I do believe that it's important that future potential victims of the system get the chance to be warned by us who have been there. I know I wish I could send a warning back in time to my young self.

I just never know whether talking about this stuff openly serves the greater good or not. Maybe I am doing more harm then good. Or maybe I'm helping to bring down the bad guys and make innocent people safe. I really don't have a clue. @tyme , don't think I'm not kept awake at nights worrying about it.

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@justanotherguy wrote:

@chibam @tyme @CrazyChick ,

At some point I have to try and put it behind me, but a meme years ago was that any relationship you have with someone will take the same number of years to 'get over'. Who knows? It could be true for any relationship (job, partner, family member, etc). I was strung along for 8 years before I finally realised the sham, plus the extra years of getting out.

But being angry is tiring. My life plans never included any of this. What can I do now? Many people discover unsern problems in society and turn it into a career. I don't think family members understand the scale of the problem with MH, nor what I've been through - I still get suggestions to go back on medication (for what?????). Is there any point joining a system that's still so broken? Like I said, it has taken me years to understand myself, how can I understand someone else in a 60 minute session?

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Not sure if you feel the same way, @justanotherguy , but IMHO, the trouble with harm inflicted by the system is that you can't just "put it behind you" like some done-and-dusted trauma, because the problems it's presented are still real and ongoing.

Like, I don't complain about my crappy therapists because "I'm stuck in the past." - I complain about them because I still desparately need the help I should've gotten 20 years ago - only I can't get it, because the system is such a harmful mess! I don't complain to avenge the past, I complain to fix my future! Because I need a good, trustworthy help system to get a good life!

It's like trying to tell a traumatized soldier to "get over their trauma" while their still in the foxhole. You have to get to the point where the problem is in the past (and not the present, or future), before you can even think of putting it behind you.