Acedia

What a fertile imagination you have @Kyle1

It may not be cleverness ... as in mere ... or sophistic ... some of that inner "I" may also be wisdom ... it can be a delicate balancing act.

balancing act between myself and everything 'other' you mean @Appleblossom ?

Or is it intellect and emotion?..

Did you actually write that, @Kyle1? It's insightful, beautiful.

Hi @Historylover

Thank you. That's nice of you to say. 🙏

I wrote it trying to find a way out of it...as if I could fold myself inside out - like a shirt !

Yes both @Kyle1

i) self and other ... is one major individuation process...

2) intellect and emotion may not be as distinct as all that ... a lot of emotion goes into how we choose our intellectual endeavours ... we may not even be fully aware ... and vice versa ...intellect can go into our emotional expression ... eg ...

I find the discussions of how to play this Intermezzo interesting ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9Tel22TkW4

I agree with @Historylover Beautiful writing ... and thinking ...

hi @sol_87 thank you for your kind words.

I don't know if I wrote a piece of work tho... I was crying for help. Still am, sad to say...

the mornings are awefully hard. Well, they used to be. But increasingly any other time of day is just the same now... all the clocks have frozen like a steel trap with clenched jaws and in the middle there is me.

I did see my GP again yesterday. And my counsellor. I hated myself for feeling I needed to ask 'help'. I am sick somehow. And I am also sick of myself.

My counsellor had me go through a self compassion exercise yesterday. Sit up straight. Breath. Recall the last time I did something to help another person. Steady as she goes, close eyes, be in that moment once again...

Now a imagine that other person is you...

But instantly it became an endless richoche of lazers in a mirrored room, and the sharp red needle lights were anything but compassionate... so that didn't work.

be that as it may, you have been in my thoughts. As @Historylover has been. And others...

And you and others are in my thoughts, too, @Kyle1. Not waving, drowning here, sad to say. Bummer, eh?

yeah...

i've been pondering here and there when I can

about a purposeful life...what is a life of purpose? meaning? all of that.

are we to really live like a tiger in pursuit of its prey? @Historylover

i recall reading the words of a buddhist who wrote "the meaning of life is to live a meaningful life" ... and I'm thinking:

thanks for nothing, buddha!

A life of predation is all I encounter, @Kyle1. I want no part of it. I could not deliberately harm or take advantage of another who has done me no harm. Is that all there is to life? I have asked this before, but is life really like a game of Survivor?

So many of us looking for the meaning and purpose of this life, while trying to make something of it and of ourselves. With the utmost effort, I have achieved nothing. But I have had enormous help to do so.

I made waffles for lunch and couldn't even get that right!