Would you go for a walk?

I’d like to tell you about my recent Qld Health experience as fellow mental health patient where ‘regrettably’ the outcome was not to my satisfaction.

I have been in the Queensland Mental Health system for probably close to 20 years. I see the Queensland Health Mental Health Team for help every time I am unwell. I should feel safe, and I should feel like I’m in a place where my mental health is a priority.

I was handed a person and I decided to trust her, a very hard thing to do. She was genuine, positive and we built a great relationship for up to almost a year. She helped me understand a lot about myself. To do this, I had to provide her with my most personal and intimate information. The information she knew best, the reason I don’t want to go outside. The reason I had isolated myself inside for more than 12 months. My fear of judgement because of my father’s-imposed views about status in this world. She knew this about me.

She also knew my education and work history. She knew everything. You all know the drill. Well, here is my story. I have been incapacitated with severe social anxiety and depression since February 2022. I faced homelessness in September 2022 when my landlord put my property up for sale. At that time I lived between my ex-husband’s and my sister’s house between September 2022 and February 2023. I’m independent again, as of end February 2023, and I’m trying to meet small goals of re-entering society at the moment. With my brother-in-law passing away the previous year, my sister was able to purchase an investment property and I’m finally safe. I should be happy.

I’m not sure if any of you are aware of needing a medical certificate for Centrelink purposes? Well when you are requesting paperwork from Queensland Health, it’s no easy feat, I’m not sure if anyone can pick up what I’m putting down here. I’m a single mum who is not well, I have 2 teenage girls, debt, and no savings. My situation is not rocket science, it’s rubbish.

So it was the week prior to moving into my new home and I had been receiving messages from Workforce Australia that I was required to meet my working obligations, or my benefits would be placed on hold. I knew this couldn’t happen. I could neither lose my benefit, nor meet my working obligations. Sadly, I have not been able to meet my working obligations due to the severity of my anxiety and depression for some time.

It took three face-to-face appointments with my psychologist, plus additional (and distraught) phone calls over a period of 6 weeks, before I was eventually financially examined. Then they were satisfied I was not able to work for a further month and issued my certificate. I repeat this process every 2 months. It’s quite unhelpful and stressful. It does not seem to matter that I am actually unwell. I guess it rarely does in these circumstances, does it?

She was my psychologist and at that moment when she was questioning me, it was as though she was looking me up and down as if I were a criminal. After I had trusted her with all of my information, she had just robbed me. All I got back; We regret your experience… Give me strength! Seriously what hope do any of us have when we go there for help? She told me she thought her questioning was wrong. She said I could complain, so I did.

In their response to my complaint they advised that they regretted my experience was not satisfactory. They were unable to apologise for what most people would normally expect to be stepping over the ethical boundaries of mental health care because they are simply Qld Health, and of course I am just a Mental Health patient.

I was just trying to get help. I didn’t expect to get accused of Centrelink fraud by my psychologist. So now what do you want me to do Qld Health? I’ve had my recent mental health review and I have my trusted Centrelink Medical Certificate in hand. I’m good until July. Full time crazy until then.

The stupid thing is, I was really looking forward to my new life once I moved. The thought of perhaps study which would open opportunities and perhaps things may have been amazing again. Qld Health have squashed me now. I feel like they have confirmed what I have known all along, and that is people are just really rubbish and I’m so completely exhausted. They have put me back in my house forever at least now it’s beautiful and I’m safe. I’m working hard at the little things and protecting my babies x

So my question above, do I go on that walk? I’m not sure. For now I think I’m happy with lounge room dancing and maybe being brave enough to meet some new friends on here. I’m trying hard not to feel invisible. I took my complaint further to the OHO, hoping that they might think I’m a human being with some basic rights of care, however my complaint was read and returned to me within 72 hours stating it lacked substance. It seems I’m not a human being after all, still a mental health patient there as well. Now I just feel like I have the word "crazy" stamped in the middle of my forehead and the entire world can see it.

I’m not really sure what my plan is next. My only focus at the moment is staying alive, paying the bills, and protecting my family. I have energy for nothing else. Life has exhausted me beyond belief. So yeah, loungeroom dancing for now. Thanks for reading, if you made it this far x