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Sad and lonely Panda

Sad and lonely Panda

Hi all,

I’m a millennial (I guess? I think so.)


At my age, I am working on making new friends and am about to start a new job.

However, I am unable to shake a big feeling of loneliness and failure.

- I live with my parents (both disabled) because I would be homeless if I didn’t live with them. When they pass (they’re older) I have to move from my home as my siblings want to sell what little assets my parents face.
- I cannot afford property and I work in admin, so wages are poor.
- I often am overtired and want to sleep all the time, housework and cooking get neglected. I can only calm down by reading.

- My parents are not therapists (obviously) so sharing my fears with them get dismissed.

- I go places and talk to friends but come home and feel more lonely and terrified of homelessness, poverty, loneliness, and inability to pay bills.

I know I need to eat better, exercise more and lose weight. It’s very hard for me to do any of those things.

I am at the end of my tether with fear atm. I’m not sure what to do or where to reach out.

Thanks for reading.

8 replies

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In response to: Sad and lonely Panda

Re: Sad and lonely Panda

I'm so sorry to hear @Moosebegoose . It must be a stressful time knowing that you may face homelessness in the future.

Have you ever considered share accomodation? Also, do you have a good relationship with your siblings whereby you can talk to them about making alternative arrangements before selling to property?

In response to: Sad and lonely Panda

Re: Sad and lonely Panda

Welcome to the forums @Moosebegoose . Sorry to hear you have so many worries at the moment. Your concerns are very valid. It's hard to shift your focus to eating better and exercising when you are worried you might not even have a roof over your head at some stage.

Are you excited about your new job? Perhaps you will find some new friendships there too?

Do you get on okay with your siblings?

Sending warmest wishes

Hanami

In response to: Sad and lonely Panda

Re: Sad and lonely Panda

Hello @Moosebegoose you could try and put up a message on facebook. There are many local noticeboards in my area with people with accomodation or looking for accomodation.

There are also programs through welfare agencies that match elderly folk with a younger person for free accomodation given they do tasks around the house that an elderly or disabled person can't do and to provide companionship. I think DoCare or one of those agencies was doing it you will have to check.

With eating properly you could start planning your meals and using either a slow cooker or thermos cooker. You load up the ingredients in the morning and come home to a cooked meal. You don't need to do anything. Slow cookers can take the cheapest cuts of meat and turn them into something that is easy to eat and tender like an expensive cut of meat. I knew someone who worked in the trucking industry and was too tired to come home and even consider cooking. You can buy slow cooker recipe books from the op shop.

With a thermos cooker you could brown meat and soften vegetables in the morning - put in the thermos cooker and take it to work if you want a nourishing meal at work The thermos will cook the meal for you. There are thermos cookers on amazon or ebay.

Anyway don't know if any of these strategies are to your liking but its what i could come up with.

In response to: Re: Sad and lonely Panda

Re: Sad and lonely Panda

Hi there.

Thank you for reaching out.

My parents have put some stipulations in their will. They are small. However, I am lucky currently as they pay the electricity, gas, water, internet, rates, and home insurance bills. I have never had to pay these before, so I have no idea how to prepare to budget for those things.

I have also been bullied my whole life, and am sensitive. I take offence easily I guess? I don’t know how good I’d be in a share house.

I’m so scared and lonely and my parents are elderly. They’re not much help as they’re dealing with their own problems. I’m not close to my siblings either, as they have their own families and are much older than me.

In response to: Re: Sad and lonely Panda

Re: Sad and lonely Panda

Hi there! Thank you for reaching out.

I am excited about my new job. I am also acutely aware that I am going in with quite a few knowledge gaps. I’m worried I’m not suitable for the role.

In response to: Re: Sad and lonely Panda

Re: Sad and lonely Panda

Hi there. Thank you for reaching out. The slow cooker recipes seem like a good idea. My parents have a slow cooker. I will look into that. Thank you

In response to: Re: Sad and lonely Panda

Re: Sad and lonely Panda

Hi @Moosebegoose

Trust me, we all have hesitations about starting a new job, thinking we aren't really suitable. Be honest and let them know where you need support with new tasks but be confident that they employed you so you must have the qualities that they are looking for.

Hanami

In response to: Sad and lonely Panda

Re: Sad and lonely Panda

Oh gosh, @Moosebegoose , I really feel for you 😞 I'm at risk of homelessness too and it's a terrible, terrible fear.


@Moosebegoose wrote:

I am at the end of my tether with fear atm. I’m not sure what to do or where to reach out.


Do you have any professional support? Like a counsellor, meds, psychologist or psychiatrist?

If not, then the first step is to visit your GP and ask for a Mental Health Care Plan. This will entitle you to 10 subsidised sessions with a psychologist per year. The only thing is that psychologists are so overwhelmed with demand at the moment that it could take 6 months to get in to see one. But it's a good idea to get on the waiting list now.

You can help this process by googling then ringing round psychologists in your area to ask: are they taking new patients at the moment, what is the wait time for a new patient to start, what are the costs, etc. Then you can take a name to your GP for the Mental Health Care Plan referral. (GPs might not know which psychologists are taking new patients and which have stopped as they are full.)

I hear you that money is tight. But I'm thinking that if you could get some help now, while you're still living with your parents, that will help you once you have to find a place on your own and maybe can't afford a therapist. A psychologist will have strategies to help you deal with the anxiety and awful fear.

Please just ignore if anything I've said misses the mark or is unhelpful.


An important tip for the forums here is if you type @ and then click on a name in the drop-down box, that person will get a notification and won't miss your reply.

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