LostAngelSenior Contributor
Lingering thoughts and feelings need to vent it out
well hello its lost angel again venting out ,I hate Overthinking , I hate depression,I hate anxiety ,it makes you feel just so hard to describe insecure and dissapointed and very self crital ,does anyone else have it like your critical of yourself with the put down thoughts that you can even misenterept others comments as being critical of you too when in actual fact that dont mean anything negative cause you know its coming from your head that twists others words too make you put yourself down even more with oh Im sure that ment it in a neagtive way like if your not carefull your mind can kind of distort everything around you as negative ,just as negative as your thinking of things of yourself in your head ,feeling a bit not right today ,disheartened ,disapointed in oneself,putting self down ,but also laughing at oneself an putting a positive spin on it to others ,disheartened seems to be the feeling today ,anxiety makes me want to get up and go but depressions a bit too control of my headspace orwell guess Im trying my best ,I set my alarm this morning to get out of bed earlier , ao had a shower earlier in the day ,also did some online study homework ,but still cant seem to handle doing much of that ,yesterday was better at doing self care although have showered and eaten today and managed to get out of bed for a change , just disheartened in self and slightly paronoid maybe should rest I guess I dont know my body wants to get up an go though but my mind doesnt want to do much except colour everything with negativity insecure ,disheartened hmm I dont know what else to say except im trying to feel right again ,not easy though ,i geuss maybe ine goal is to find something creative to do this week something fun for an outlet like i dont know painting or scrapbooking or Something with my hands ,its like I love everyone else right now but I dont love or like myself would even say i hate myself but love everyone else but how is that possible ,imposter syndrome? hormanal ? questions but not much answers as to why I feel the way I feel and hate how I feel but care and worry so much about everyone else ,self esteem ,not good enough thats all will zone out and escape into a fantasy world of a series cause I dont like myself right now
