Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

BPD Rage

LilithNew Contributor20 Apr 2023, 7:11 am AEST

BPD Rage

Hi All

I'm new here and thought I'd reach out to see if anyone has any tips.

I am in a long term relationship with an amazing man who I'm very happy with, but he also lives with mental illness.

I'm finding that recently due to ongoing stress we are arguing more often and my BPD rage is becoming a real problem. I get frustrated that we don't understand each other and that I'm not being heard and it's like someone flips a switch in my head. The anger hits me like a brick wall and I'm finding it very hard to control. Unfortunately due to my partner's abandonment issues, I can't just take a time out and let myself calm down, which has always been my go-to strategy. The anger is getting to a point where I'm scared, I really feel like I want to hurt someone. I'm having nightmares every night and the violent urges are more frequent. It's been 24 hrs since our last argument and I still feel like I'm unhinged.

My psyche is booked out for months in advance and I'm already medicated.

Has anyone got any suggestions on what I can do and strategies to cope in situations like this?

4 replies

1 - 4 of 4

In response to: BPD Rage

hanamiSenior Contributor20 Apr 2023, 9:59 am AEST

Re: BPD Rage

Hi @Lilith

Welcome to the Forums. My name is Hanami and I am one of the peer support workers at SANE. It is nice to have you with us.

Good on you for recognising your anger and reaching out for support. It must come with many challenges being in a relationship with someone with MI when you have your own issues with BPD. I don't have any wise words for you but wondered in you would like to talk to someone you might want to consider the SANE Support Centre. It is available to support anyone from 10am-10pm Monday to Friday. We have counsellors and peer support workers available to support you via phone (1800 187 263) or webchat.

Sometimes just talking to someone that is understanding and non-judgemental can really help and of course we here on SANE forum community is here for anyone 24/7.

Please take care

Warm regards,

Hanami

In response to: BPD Rage

PaperdaisySenior Contributor20 Apr 2023, 2:38 pm AEST

Re: BPD Rage

Hey @Lilith have you ever had any DBT for your BPD? I don't share the diagnosis, but I have found distress tolerance skills helpful for emotion regulation. I'm wondering if this would be helpful for you? Have a look here. All the best

In response to: Re: BPD Rage

LilithNew Contributor20 Apr 2023, 6:14 pm AEST

Re: BPD Rage

Thank you so much for responding 🙂

I haven't yet tried DBT, but have seen a few articles online that reference it as a treatment with good results. I'll have a look at the link you shared.

Again, thank you very much!

In response to: BPD Rage

sjb800Contributor20 Apr 2023, 7:21 pm AEST

Re: BPD Rage

@Lilith Hi there..

Have you made your psych organisation aware what's going on with you at the moment? Explaining your situation might allow for an earlier appointment in certain situations.. If you feel unsafe please reach out to lifeline or as advised in the post above SANE phone line.

My personal strategy for anger is turning on my music, I'll play songs that are loud and that express how I am feeling at the time, I'll sing along until I cry.

Take care

1 - 4 of 4