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Hi @Marie221

First I would like to welcome you to these forums - I am glad you have found us and reached out - hopefully we can help you find some assistance.

Only you can make the decision of whether or not you should stay in this relationship - I can't advise you because I don't know your circumstances - however - it doesn't sound good.

There is no excuse for a partner to be abusive - so there are places - shelters - or centres - who have advisors. You can start by ringing 1800 RESPECT or Lifeline on 13 11 14 - both of these numbers are confidential -

Also - seeing as you have bipolar you most likely have a medical person you can discuss this with - which might help you to sort out moving away with your mental health issues. Staying because of those would be difficult - as would moving out.

It can be difficult to move away from an abusive partner because of the risk of retaliation. If you are comfortable with speaking to the police about it could be a good move.

As I already said - it is up to you to make the decision - I am glad you have reached out - I hope this helps you.

All the best

Owlunar

Hi @Marie221

Welcome to the forums, I'm glad you found us. It takes a lot of courage to share your story and reach out for support. Like @Owlunar said, only you can make the decision to leave your partner. If you do, it's helpful to have the right 'tools' such as support, a safety plan, where to seek support etc. Here's an article that might be helpful for you if that's the path you take https://www.australianfamilylawyers.com.au/information-centre/leaving-domestic-violence-relationship

Personally, I don't think having bipolar means you should stay. You are a person that deserves respect and to be treated well by your partner. Having bipolar doesn't make you any less deserving of that.

Sending warmest wishes

Hanami

Hi @Marie221 welcome firstly. Glad that you have found us here and I’m sorry that you are currently in this situation.

As you have young children, there should be a few options for you. Do you have a psychologist or counsellor? They would be a good starting point. They would know of local organisations that would be able to support you to leave if that is what you want to do. Contacting 1800respect is also a good option, they would also be able to look up local resources for you. Going to the police is also an option. Many many years ago we were in a domestic violence situation, my mum took my brother and I to the police station. They then organised to put us up in a local hotel for a few nights while a place at a women’s refuge was organised.

There are certainly options out there for you @Marie221 especially in Sydney. But it takes a lot of courage to make that decision to leave and things will probably be a bit bumpy for a while, but you are doing what is best for you and your children. But only you can make that decision. Wishing you all the best

Hi @Marie221,

Welcome to the Forums, my name is FloatingFeather and I am one of the peer support workers at SANE. I can see that your post has already gathered some really good responses and advice. I guess I just wanted to add as someone that has a close family member that has bipolar I wouldn't like to think they stayed in a situation like yours because of bipolar. You (like everyone else) deserves to have a happy and peaceful home life irrespective of what mental health diagnosis you have. Having bipolar is a rollercoaster ride when you do feel supported and loved - to add abuse to what you already having going on is probably exacerbating things for you.

My friend left a 30 year marriage because it wasn't okay to stay anymore - it wasn't easy but three years on she is happier than she has been for many years. Sometimes when a person is in an abusive relationship they are so conditioned to what is going on it's not until they are out of it they can recognise how bad the abuse was.

Please take care,

FloatingFeather

PS. a couple of tips for navigating the Forums:

Tip 1 - if you want to directly chat with someone on the Forums use the @ symbol and then start typing their name directly after it. A dropdown box should appear, and you then select their name. This ensures that they are notified of any posts you mention them in.

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Hi @Marie221 I would echo so many others' advice and comments here ...we cannot say whether to or not leave this relationship but you do deserve better. You have taken the first step in questioning whether this is right for you and it does not matter whether you have Bipolar or any other mental or physical condition - you deserve to be happy and not be subjected to abuse (in any relationship). I would encourage you to contact 1800 RESPECT as @Owlunar mentioned - they can guide you through your options and support you in whatever you decide. Of course, we are here to support you in whatever that decision is. You matter and so does your safety and happiness.