Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

STRUGGLING

Unknown userMember05 Nov 2016, 12:09 am AEDT

STRUGGLING

hi a few weeks ago i got 2 lots of bad news on the same day and im still really struggling mentally. first i got told i had miscarried at 7 weeks making it my 9th in 3 years and then i was told that my bio father is appealing his parole conditions again and it worrys me for 2 reasons i will probs get called back to court to help the case against him and i am not stable enough to deal with court and he won the last 2 appeals about aspects of his parole and if he gets this one i dont think i can feel safe even in a different state, so my mental state basically flipped it and ive been a mess since. while im am still able to help care for my child i have become worried that i seem to be missing hours i cant remember what i did some of the time and the last time this happened i was 12 and was able to hide it but i was being drifted between foster homes so it wasnt hard to hide as no one paid close attention but it is different im with my partner everyday and i feel that he knows something is not right but just doesnt know what and im afriad that if he finds out that he will take me to the hospital and i know that it is just because he cares and is worried but i really dont want to go to the hospital

9 replies

1 - 9 of 9

In response to: STRUGGLING

ZahliaSenior Contributor05 Nov 2016, 12:01 pm AEDT

Re: STRUGGLING

Hi @Former-Member

I'm so sorry to hear about all the bad news you have had recently 😞 It's understandable you would be struggling still, a miscarriage is such a hard thing to go through. Have you seen a specialist about what's going on?

And your father's parole hearing... Even more stress for you to deal with. Do you have to go to court? You shouldn't have to be subjected to that if it's going to make your mental health even worse. Have you spoken to a therapist about the missing hours? Hubby sounds supportive though, would he listen to you without taking you to hospital?

Sorry sometimes on the weekend there isn't many people posting... It usually gets busy during the week. Give it some time and people will respond 🙂

Take care @Former-Member

Zahlia

In response to: Re: STRUGGLING

Unknown userMember05 Nov 2016, 12:16 pm AEDT

Re: STRUGGLING

hi @Zahlia,

i probably should have realized that not many would be on over a weekend. i am seeing a gyno at the end of the month.

and my bio fathers parole hearing it is about 7 weeks away i wont know till the week before if i am expected to attend he is appealing his tracking thingy and lots of people have said that he wont win because of his status as a sexual predator but in new south wales he is classed as reformed as they believe that his age stops him from reoffending but considering he has broken his parole conditions twice and isnt back behind bars im worried.

yes my hubby is very supportive and it annoys him when i dont tell him these things but to him it would be a safety risk if i didnt go as i cant remember anything in those missing hours. and especially if it could affect our sons well being.

i am thinking about telling my psycologist but worried that she would put me in hospital or will tell my partner

In response to: Re: STRUGGLING

ZahliaSenior Contributor05 Nov 2016, 12:24 pm AEDT

Re: STRUGGLING

Hi @Former-Member

Hmm... that is worrying that he broke his parole twice and didn't go back to prison. It will probably be really stressful for you leading up to it all, so just remember to use your supports and take care of yourself.

Do you think you should go to hospital if it means you might be putting your sons wellbeing at risk? Your psych isn't allowed to tell hubby anything about your sessions (unless you intend on harming yourself or others). It might be good to tell your psych so they can get to the bottom of it?

Zahlia

In response to: STRUGGLING

utopiaSenior Contributor05 Nov 2016, 12:27 pm AEDT

Re: STRUGGLING

@Former-Member. I just wrote you a post on the other forum section - but it didn't go through.
Im sorry you are having such a hard time at the moment. I cannot imagine what it would be like to miscarry again - but I hear your pain. I'm so sorry you had to suffer this again.
It sounds like you need an advocate for this court problem. Someone who may be able to speak on your behalf. I wonder if you called Legal Aide or the Courts and explained your situation and your current mental health - they may be able to point you in the right direction for finding an advocate. Maybe your husband could do the ringing around for you - if it is too much for you at the moment.
Shy do you think your husband or psychologist would put you in hospital? Has that been your experience in the past?
It may be that you just need a short term medication or increase in current medication - just to get through this period.
Could you write down what type of help you would like your psychologist to give you & what help you don't want. Maybe you could give this to her & she will have a better understanding and may then be able to work with you on your terms.
Remember, this is just a temporary phase. It will pass. And we are here for you.

In response to: Re: STRUGGLING

Unknown userMember05 Nov 2016, 12:45 pm AEDT

Re: STRUGGLING

as i am never on my own with him as i have a support person with me wether it my partner or my sister at all time because of the stressors i have at the moment and the anxiety attacks i have had and couldnt my psychologist feel that i am harming myself by not telling the people around me

In response to: Re: STRUGGLING

Unknown userMember05 Nov 2016, 12:57 pm AEDT

Re: STRUGGLING

hi @utopia,

my nan normally take a letter in an reads it to the court but she is battling some health issues so she cant this time and i have thought about that but im am going to ask my psyc to put a letter in for me if she can.

my fear of them puttin me in hospital stems from childhood experiences i dont want to go to the hospital and as a child saying i didnt want to go led to me being addmitted

In response to: Re: STRUGGLING

Unknown userMember05 Nov 2016, 1:29 pm AEDT

Re: STRUGGLING

Hi @Former-Member,

Im so sorry to hear about your miscarriage, you must be carrying grief and fear from that as it's been recurring. I'd imagine you are still dealing with the emotional fall out from that as well.

As for the other situation with your abuser I'm not sure what to say except I would imagine that you would be feeling so many emotions but it seems like fear and anger at feeling let down are at the top of the list. I'm really glad you have support.

My thinking is that there would be a good chance of staying home with so much support if it just meant tweaking some medications for now until things are better and maybe a call from a CAT team regularly to check in and see how you are going. Are you linked in with a mental health team or do you have a private psychiatrist and psychologist? I am no expert in this so please don't see this as gospel but where possible I think the idea is to keep people at home with more added support at home. A few weeks ago I required extra help and they called it 'hospital at home' and I was given a small amount of a medication to help for a few days and support calls everyday. I hope this helps. I guess the other thing is that as daunting as hospital is any experience would be different now with the support of your partner and family. If that's what you need to get through it's only short term until you are on your feet.

I really hope this works out for you @Former-Member. You don't deserve this to keep coming back to you. Take care and best wishes 💜🤗💐

In response to: STRUGGLING

utopiaSenior Contributor05 Nov 2016, 1:40 pm AEDT

Re: STRUGGLING

@Former-Member. I'm glad you will ask your psych to write a letter for the courts.
You can ask your psycholigist and or psychiatrist to draw up a plan of what you would like to happen - should you get sick again with your MI. This is a document signed by you and your therapist. You can give a copy to your gp and a copy to your lical hospital - just in case. I can't remember the name of this form (my memory is no good this week) z- hopefully someone here - maybe even an @moderator may know what it's called. It outlines your wishes.
It is not legally binding - because they must take into account harm to self or others. But it gives them a starting & hopefully finishing place - to look after you when you are unwell.
Maybe have a look into it when you talk with your psychologist next.

In response to: Re: STRUGGLING

AppleblossomSenior Contributor05 Nov 2016, 1:49 pm AEDT

Re: STRUGGLING

Your home life as a child sounds very complicated and difficult. I can relate in having 2 foster families of my own. I am glad you have some support around you.

Sorry about your miscarriages. Be kind to your self including your body. It may take a while to settles so keep reaching out for support.

Your son is a lovely age but also a lot of energy and needs from you. Try and care for you both for the long haul.

If some professionals can take your place in court it maight give relief .. as it sounds like you have already done very hard yards in that area before.

Take care @Former-Member

We need more people who have experienced being "in care" on the forums. Often if others post, they then drop out and stop posting. I worry about them, because often they are battling the most.

1 - 9 of 9