Being stalked for 4 years, struggling to cope with PTSD

Hi there @GreenLizzard ,

That sounds very very hard to live with. I'm so sorry this is happening - still.

I sounds like you have gone to measures to find support, yet you have been pushed back.

If this is continuous, I do believe maybe it needs more police intervention. I'm sorry, but I'm not well-versed in this area. Do you call the local police station or do you walk in to speak to someone. The police also have a non-urgent number you can call on 131 444.

I'm wondering if you have ever phoned out SANE counsellors? Sometimes, there's a bit of a wait, but you can access them on 1800 187 263 (10am-10pm AEST). https://www.sane.org/get-support/drop-in-service

Please take care and let us know how things go for you. You deserve to feel safe.

That's rather an inappropriate assumption by the police, @GreenLizzard. How sad that the so-called 'mentally ill' are automatically assumed to be the cause. What does that say about complacency towards the ever present 'mentally ill' in our society. There's obviously a plague!

I like AAA1's idea of taking photographs, date stamped. Perhaps the person is sweet and completely harmless, but you don't know that, and whatever the reason, this person's behaviour has to be corrected. It is intolerable for you and must be wearing you down. How do people not realize the mental harm it causes? Don't they understand how to put themselves in another's shoes? I hope the situation improves soon.

Hi @GreenLizzard

I just wanted to reach out to welcome you to the forums - it’s great to have you here 💜

I’m so sorry to hear about what’s been happening for you and as I listened to this part of your story, I can really hear the detrimental impact that this has had (and continues to have) on your mental health and wellbeing 💜

To be impacted by the behaviours of another person to the point where you’re unable to participate in life in the way that’s important and meaningful to you can be incredibly debilitating and as such, it’s absolutely no wonder that you’re on high alert and feeling scared, anxious and stressed 💜

Oh GreenLizzard 💜 I truly believe that reaching out to the police for support takes an enormous amount of much courage and as such, I’m incredibly distressed to hear how they responded to you.

In my experience, there can be so many misconceptions about stalking and the devastating impact that this can have on people. As such, I just wanted to share some information that I found in the hope that this may help to validate some of your experiences:

Stalking is a crime in all Australian states and territories. Legal responses to stalking have improved in recent years - it is no longer necessary to show that you have sustained actual harm as a result of the stalking in order to get legal or police assistance (Source: Wire Women’s Information)

With this in mind, I just ever so gently wondered if it may be helpful for you to keep a diary detailing your experiences. That way you would be able to collate some ‘evidence’ in relation to what’s happening which could be really valuable information to share with the police if you decide to reach out to them in the future 💜

As such, I’ve just shared the link to a section on the New South Wales Police website, that specifically focuses on how people can make a record of the stalking behaviour - just in case you would like to take a look 😊

https://www.police.nsw.gov.au/crime/domestic_and_family_violence/what_is_stalking/stalking_accordian/making_a_record_of_the_stalking

The other thing that I thought may be important for you, is finding ways to increase your personal safety. For example this could include things such as:

• Keeping the contact numbers for the police, trusted family and friends on speed dial and ensuring that you have your mobile telephone with you at all times.
• Informing trusted friends, family members and work colleagues about what’s happening.
• Varying your routine and trying to stay in public places.
• Having someone you trust and / or a security guard escorting you to your car after work or when you’re leaving university.
• Purchasing a personal alarm and keeping this within easy reach.
• Creating a safety plan for what you could do if you felt unsafe or if the situation escalated. For example, is there somewhere safe you could go, do you know the street address, how to get there and their opening hours etc.

From my understanding, there are services that can support people who are experiencing stalking and as such, I just wondered if this may be something that’s of interest to you 💜

I wasn’t too sure what state you’re living in, but if this is something that feels safe and comfortable for you to share, I would be more than happy to see if there are some resources that may be available to you (and if there are) I could share the details with you here 💜

If this is something that doesn’t feel comfortable for you (which is completely understandable 💜) but you’re still interested in reaching out to some of those services, you could always complete a google search to see if there’s anything in your area 😊

I really love how you’re considering participating in therapy and as such, I just wondered if this is something that you could access through your university 💜 That way, you may be able to co-ordinate an appointment for the days when you’re already on campus and so that way, you wouldn’t need to leave home for an additional appointment. Alternatively, you may also be able to connect with a Therapist via telehealth - which may be something that feels safer for you at this time 💜

Given everything that’s been happening for you, I just wanted to take a moment to share some information about an organisation called 1800RESPECT - just in case you felt that you needed some additional support 💜

Basically, 1800RESPECT provide telephone and online counselling, information and support for people who have experienced domestic, family and sexual violence.

As such, I’ve just provided the link to their website below in case you would like to explore this further 😊

https://www.1800respect.org.au/

If you would like to reach out to 1800RESPECT, you can contact them on:

1800 737 732 💜 They provide support 24 hours a day, seven days a week 💜

They also provide online chat if this is something that feels more comfortable for you 💜

Also, just while I remember, one of the things that really helped me when I was new to the forums and still finding my way around, was that if you would like to chat with another forum member, or reply to one of their posts, place @ in front of their username just like I did at the start of my post to you i.e. @GreenLizzard and that way, they will receive a message that you have contacted them 😊

I really hope that this helps you a little bit and please know that you’re always welcome to reach out to us here whenever you need to 💜

Take kind and gentle care of yourself,

ShiningStar 💜

It is really awful that you are going through this. I think you need to keep a diary with dates / times / locations of every single moment your stalker is in your presence. This diary will become evidence for the police and you should be able to get some type of order to keep him away from you. It is creepy and could escalate into worse.

I can relate. I've had some creep contact my workplace, stalk me along the street, spread rumours about my sex life which has resulted in me being harrassed. I haven't worked out how they are doing it but it is most likely online.

A friend of mine has a woman in her neighbourhood fixated on her. She has created fake social media profiles to harrass my friend with and has posted my friend's photo, address etc with all these lies. The police know and there is evidence but they don't do anything.

Hi @Former-Member

I just wanted to reach out to say thank you for sharing your concerns in relation to why I didn’t respond to you 😊

In my experience, we all support members of our community in different and important ways. As such, my post was one of support in relation to learnt experience and resources, whereas (from my understanding) your post was one in response to lived experience.

As such, I didn’t respond directly to you and others, as you were responding to GreenLizzard - not requesting your own support in relation to the issues that they raised in their post. Therefore, my focus for my post was on GreenLizzard, as they were the one who was reaching out for support.

I hope that this helps to clarify your concerns.

Take care,

ShiningStar 💜