Need some help

I know the feeling of not wanting to feel hopeful again, @Girl1. I've been there too and have opted instead to just be satisfied with the mundane, when it's attainable. It's more realistic. The task is to even out and have realistic expectations about what we can expect from life. One thing for sure, it's not a walk in the park.

It sounds like everything has accumulated to the point of overwhelming you, and your post makes me wish I could help, but I can only respond with words that may be inappropriate.

It sounds like you are in the throes of depression. I've been there. Do you have a GP you can talk with?

I just wanted to let you know that we hear you, @Girl1, and I only have a few words to offer. I wish I could do more. I can only send you my best wishes.

Thankyou @Historylover

I do think that my expectations have been all over the place lately. It's kind of like even if I'm not intentionally expecting anything, I will subconsciously.

And whatever that is would cause me pain and i dont even know why it does now when it never did before.

It seems like no matter how much I try to release my expectations and projections, they still arise, and will not waver. So they are only leaving me in more pain.

I dont feel like myself lately at all, so this has led me to the feeling of hopelessness.

I have struggled with feelings of depression in the past however this has only happened recently and quickly.

I do have a GP however have not talked to them before about this area and am not sure if i should contact them. That is kind of why I'm writing here because I dont want medication, I would only want to talk to somebody and figure out why I'm feeling this way. If that makes any sense. I never really had the courage to reach out before. Thankyou for listening and for your comment.

Hi @Girl1

I have been/ still am where you are. Including your feelings about medication...

It's not nice!

I just wanted to encourage you to talk to your GP. And if it's recommended, try and accept that medication might be an extra support to atleast stabilise you to the degree that you can get on with the rest of what needs to be done.

I know it can be a hard one to welcome, but meds can have their place in the greater treatment plan for things like this... It is a long and trying process.

Well shared. I particularly relate to feeling of things being "different now".

When things change in weird ways, one way to be in control of the dynamic is to do new things. It can be an ironic way to beat change at it's own game.

We're a bit hardwired to fear loss more than to love gain. That's why new gains are so profound.

I understand completely, @Girl1. I am against medication too, and I endure sheer hell before I concede and take half a tablet, just to break the pattern for a few days. Lately, it has been necessary to maintain that limited dose, as anticipating the next slump was spoiling my good days.

Doctors are too ready to do anything other than give an actual damn, I find. And to have them give an actual damn is what I desperately need. I'm a person in need of human warmth, not to be handed a prescription and sent on my way, left to deal with the situation I reached out for help to deal with.

@Girl1, if you are feeling as overwhelmed as you sound, you really need to talk to someone who can help you, whether it is a family member or friend, just someone you can rely on and trust. If none, a doctor is recommended.

I hope you turn a corner very soon and get some much needed help and perspective. I am so pleased you found your way here. I hope you find relief from your distress soon.

Hello @Girl1

You are super brave for sharing. I hope you feel a tiny bit lighter. I am very much same. I kind of don't expect solutions anymore.

I like @wellwellwellnez comments (entire reply) doing things different.

I'm seeing all these crazy patterns in my life.

I'm feeling soooo trapped.

Meds, self help books, doctors & a million other things I thought would finally be the answer.

It's possible these things saved my life.

But, for what?

....Sorry, that's a really depressing response.

I can have wonderful days, or half days where the world is at my feet.

Moments of bliss.

I feel like I'm trying to get to a place I can chill.

What if this is the place?

Then, like you, I think, what's the point?

I keep making a million hypothesis, why & how to escape. The truth is - this is sh*t.

Maybe like you, I know what I need, who I am etc.

What is this unresolved conflict I'm continuously stuck in?

I could say - well it must be me. I'm the common denominator. Sounds rational.

Yet, there is no freaking way, this is me. Things around me are closing in irrespective of my action or inaction.

I have not found an answer. I have found pieces, & illusions. I have found tools that are letting me suffer.

Good on you @Girl1 . All the best with things. I'm glad things are a little better. You deserve it.

Also, if you want to tag someone into your response, you can type "@" in front of their name so that they receive a notification of your response. That will ensure they respond back to you e.g. @tyme

@StanD , I believe the above message was for you 🙂

Hi @Girl1

I'm sorry you are still finding things difficult. I'm not good person to be in position to help. I feel exactly the same.

I will share revelation I had this afternoon. My mind is trying to find answers. I'm not sure about your circumstances. My story, very briefly is that I can no longer live in my current residence. Basically - I don't see my future.

I think maybe we are going thru similar mind sets?

Too much to cope with. Exhausting. Unstable. Uncertainty. I don't know how I'm coping - somehow I am. Not like I used to. My emotions are up & down constantly. Organisation of daily routines is restricted to absolute necessities.

I look at the rest of the world - bewildered - how is anyone managing to do things? I have no energy. I am very proud of myself for the small & really big things I do have to accomplish.

I can't help looking for a better way.... Well, I have to...Idk.. Complicated..I could def. Relate to desperate need to be in different place.

Yes, I was thinking earlier - it's all about me? I will try to explain my thought process.

Life has lots of tests, bad times etc ....& good, beautiful too.

I was having a thought that maybe what is more important than outside things, is who I am. Like, what is actually really important to me? I want to have integrity, believe in myself, trust myself. I mostly know who I am, what things I value - kindness, compassion, gentleness, forgiveness, fairness etc. I want to be me.

I am very overwhelmed right now. My words might not be clear. At times, I get very sad, & feel alone. I crave a hug! I feel really left out, let down by the world. I put trust & hope in other people, maybe too much? Who knows?

I don't want life to choose who I get to be.

It's hard. I'm thankful for the special moments. I'm sure people are helping me thru. I can't ever explain it. Angels.

Please talk to me, if you want to.

Thankyou @tyme