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The threat of self harm

LT2New Contributor01 Apr 2023, 1:09 pm AEDT

The threat of self harm

Recently our daughter-in-law made the difficult decision to leave our son but then reconsidered after he threatened to self harm. She did not call a crisis team, although they have been called in the past. We are concerned both for our grandchildren, as well as our daughter-in-law and our son. I simply do not know what to do now. We help as much as we can but sometimes that seems to makes things worse particularly when he panics and gets angry. I would appreciate some advice or thoughts as we believe there are some issues of safety which need addressing.

2 replies

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In response to: The threat of self harm

DeterminedSenior Contributor01 Apr 2023, 2:29 pm AEDT

Re: The threat of self harm

Hi @LT2 and welcome

Not sure I have much in the way of advice other than let your family know you love then and are there for them.

I say this quickly as I head out the door to visit my wife in hospital. And having spent the past day(s) wondering how sustainable this is. Although for me leaving has never been an option.

My inlaws have been a huge support over more than 20 years of trauma.

In response to: Re: The threat of self harm

DeterminedSenior Contributor01 Apr 2023, 7:08 pm AEDT

Re: The threat of self harm

Understand @LT2 help sometimes making things worse. That is often the case for my wife. Love and help is often seen as control. Backing off is seen as not caring.

Loose loose fe everyone involved 🥺

For me as a support person consistent love and support from family has been invaluable. For my Darling while she often can't see it and won't acknowledge it, life would be so much harder without it.

Does your daughter in law and grand children have support for themselves.

Each of my children and myself all have had counselling at different times during time of crisis.

Hope that is of some help for you.

When people ask me what do we need it is often hard to know because we live day by day and adapt.

For me physical safety of my children would be the deal breaker if that was in question we would be out and supporting darling from.a distance. And I have family who would.step in if I did not recognise a problem.

Emotional safety for the children. That is something I struggle with in recent times. So much to consider.

Happy to answer any questions if I can.

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