Hi @tisme,
I can understand why you feel burnt out. It sounds like you have been taking care of others for a very long time - what you have gone through would wear anyone out. I have been an emotional carer for a close family who has a serious mental health diagnosis for more than 20 years so I understand somewhat how draining it can be.
The SANE forums had a discussion the other night around caring for the carer. I will link it here if you want to read it Carer Information. There was a question about carer burnout. I will paste the information here.
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Caregiver burnout is a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion. It may be accompanied by a change in attitude, from positive and caring to negative and unconcerned. Burnout can occur when caregivers don't get the help they need, or if they try to do more than they are able, physically, and/or financially.
Many caregivers also feel guilty if they spend time on themselves rather than on their ill or elderly loved ones. Caregivers who are "burned out" may experience fatigue, stress, anxiety and depression.
Some of the symptoms can include:
- Withdrawal from friends, family and other loved ones
- Feeling low, irritable, hopeless and helpless
- Changes in appetite, weight or both
- Changes in sleep patterns
- Getting sick more frequently
- Emotional and physical exhaustion
Some ways to help prevent caregiver burnout may include:
- Talking with someone you really trust around how you are feeling.
- Set realistic goals, accept that you may need help with caregiving so reach out to others for help if you can.
- Engage with carer support groups (e.g. in person / online).
- Take advantage of respite care services if it is available.
- Be realistic about your loved one’s disease, especially if it is a progressive disease such as Alzheimer’s.
- Talk to a professional
- Know your own limits and be honest with yourself.
- Educate yourself about the illness. The more you know about the illness, the more effective you will be in caring for the person you are caring for.
- Stay healthy and eat well.
Accept your feelings for example, having negative feelings or anger is okay.
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There is an organisation calle Carers Australia as you might find useful to reach out to:
- Carers Australia
In addition the SANE Support Centre is available to support you from 10am-10pm Monday to Friday. We have counsellors and peer support workers available to support you via phone (1800 187 263) or webchat.
We also have the SANE Guided services which is our new guided service that provides free digital and telehealth services and ongoing tailored support to people over 18 years of age with complex mental health needs and their families and carers SANE Guided Service. Both these SANE services are free.
I think sometimes people feel the need to rebuke themselves around feeling others may have it harder (for example, when you said there are people worse off then me). I understand what you mean but that doesn't lessen what you have gone through and are going through. It also provides no comfort to you and works to minimise your experiences. Your experiences of being a carer for those in your family over decades is a lot. I think you should give yourself a pat on the back for how much you have cared for others for such a long time - being a carer can be a lonely, misunderstood and often thankless task and it is a testament to you around how much you have cared and continue to care for others.
I really wish you and your family well. You deserved to be cared about too.
Warm wishes,
FloatingFeather
