Husband smokes

Hi @Historylover

I have a bad shoulder - it's an irreparable injury - at my age a shoulder replacement is contraindicated especially as I have already had two operations on that shoulder that have failed. And too many things can go wrong. I have been having good results from a pain specialist - different kinds of treatment - the latest on is - ah - Transcutaneous Radio-Pulsed Therapy - I just sit or lie there for half an hour and the operator moves the electrodes from time to time and it just feels relaxing. The pain is a lot easier to manage and hopefully it will last a few months.

I haven't written anything in my little astronomy thread since I came back from bereavement leave - still - I notice what's happening - we are having a show of the Southern Lights tonight - it's a bit cloudy here as it was last night. I did see it on the news tonight. Actually - I live in Melbourne which is a bit far north. I did see them when I was a teenager - I went outside one night and the southern sky was full of magical green and pink curtains. My family was watching TV and although I yelled at them to come outside they didn't hear me and went crook when it had all finished - now why would I miss that spectacular vision for one second? No one should - if I never see it again I know I once did and it was beautiful.

The green comet passed over the north of Victoria - I am not sure if it would have been visible from Melbourne but it was here and gone fast. I saw a comet when I was a child - it was just after WW2 and I was about 3 - I was scared of it - I wouldn't be now.

I was given a telescope for Christmas - I took it outside and forgot the land is overrun but ants and they attacked me. I was so interested in trying to get a view of a Jupiter and Mars - I have to get a folding table to mount this interesting instrument - I was stung by the ants and I haven't tried again - it's better viewing in winter anyway. There will still be ants - I will use Aeroguard the next time I look.

I'm enjoying being back - I just had to stop posting and then reading much for a while - I just could not manage to really focus on what are reality issues that are rough for other people.

Although he was elderly and had Alzheimer's I miss my uncle - I saw them - my uncle and aunt - in 2018 and then covid arrived and no one could travel freely - and their health was failing - I wrote to them but they were suffering a lot - and then died so closed together. I did get to the funeral for my uncle - watching my aunt's funeral on Life-Stream was a mixed blessing - when it was all over it was all over - that's harsh.

I had dinner with my cousins and some friends - my cousins and I were so loud. that's my family - we shout at each other to get heard over the others shouting. I am older than those - hehe - young men in their 50s and knew our grandparents well - they never did - so yes - they wanted to know the family stories I could tell them. It was a great evening and I am still enjoying it - wondering if I will ever see them again - they live far away.

So that's my story - my life has interesting events - challenges - perhaps because I see them as challenges I am always having some kind of adventure - it's okay for me.

It's good to see you HistoryLover. I too am interested in history - I have been reading a lot lately - and it's weird -- some things that are now history have happened in my lifetime.

cya

Owlunar

Hi @ClockFace

You have a lot happening and it would be hard to give up smoking if you like it - it must give you a break now and again - also - I guess a lifetime of smoking would have a lot of your behaviour around it working for you - a habit I guess.

I have been reading most of what you have written - I can't always respond - mostly I read my phone when I am away from home or in bed reading books mostly - I can't respond on my phone - I can't log in and my efforts to work it out have been half-hearted -

Still - I know you are battling and I wish you the best - take a little more time out from your family gradually - increasing your me-time slowly but persistently. You all need each other I can tell - you need time to yourself as well - and it will be better for them in the long run

All the best

Owlunar

Hi @Former-Member

My immediate family didn't smoke - my grandfather went back to England after WW1 - he had been gassed and he was a smoker - and in a war - why not smoke? - after all - what else can happen? The bad weather in London was what drew my grandparents to Melbourne and granddad was in better health - but he never really recovered good lung function.

My father and his brothers grew up hearing this cough - I heard it too when I stayed there - and it was horrible - eventually he had - can I spell this? - emphysema - right first go - and I think he was pretty young to die in his early 70.

I hate the smell - now and again someone will smoke outside my place - I live in units - and I really detest it. I like living on my own and not having anyone smoking - no one in my life does now and I seem to notice when someone has been smoking more than I used to.

I hope you are okay - hyperglycemia is high blood sugar isn't it? Are you okay with that now or is it still a health problem? I hope it's okay.

All the best - I hope you have a good night

Owlunar

@Historylover

I wish I understood why. I mean anxiety starts to get to me and I reach for smokes quicker than anything else

Hi and welcome, @SecondHandSmoke . I can empathise! I hate second-hand smoke.

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@SecondHandSmoke wrote:

I don’t know if I can stand more years of having to smell it, pay for it and see his disgusting spit and butt’s everywhere, not to mention having to nurse him if he gets an illness from it

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I'm wondering, can you look ahead 3 or 5 years and imagine you've left your husband? How would you feel? Glad? Sad?

An important forum tip is if you type @ and then click on a name in the drop-down box, that person will get a notification and won't miss your reply.

Sorry, @ClockFace. I know it eases anxiety. For me, it gave me something to hide behind, to pretend I felt confident, especially in social situations (back when it was socially acceptable, and 'everybody' did it). I gave it up when my family broke down, so it was hard going.

Anyway, I hope you'll be able to break the habit at some time. Your health is so important.

I agree that it is necessary to take a break from the forum from time to time, @Owlunar. I try to keep myself occupied with my studies. It keeps me busy and out of trouble as much as possible, and learning new things is rewarding in itself.

Sorry to read of your persistent shoulder pain. I hope the Transcutaneous Radio-Pulsed Therapy is of benefit for longer than a short time. At least it's not a trauma to endure. Sounds relaxing. My father, at one time, had a hand-held instrument at home that he could dial up to higher and higher frequencies. It sounds like it did much the same thing. I never saw it; I'm just going by what he told me.

My father used to talk about historical events that happened in his lifetime, too. And things that were considered antiques were everyday items to him. (I'm beginning to find the same!). I'm also wondering where all of the older generation are. Everything seems to be under the control of young people these days. It's rare to see an older person in a position of authority from my observation.

I read that you were thinking of going on The Chase. Have you done anything about it? I used to watch both Australian and English versions, but Andrew O'Keefe stayed too long, and I don't like Larry Emdur at all. I watch Jeopardy even though they are all repeats. Many historical and geographical questions are America-centric though. I like the host, Alex Trebek, but he died shortly after I began watching the show. He presented a classy show, in my opinion. I used to watch Eggheads, and now watch Mastermind. I'm not sure if they are all repeats, or if it depends on which day the show is broadcast. I do enjoy a quiz.

Anyway, it's Sunday and it's time I got a move on. I hope you have a good day. 19 degrees and cloudy ahead of us.

Hello @Owlunar thanks for asking about the hypoglycaemia. I cured it years ago and used to have nasty headaches every day because of it.

I had been ok up until recently.

As of November last year I developed diabetes from a psych med I have been taking for many years.

So I now lead a diabetes lifestyle which involves counting carbs, restricted eating, exercise and resistance bands to stop the insulin resistance.

I've gone from 128kg to 109kg so the weight is coming off. Have a diabetes educator who is very motivating.

She really pushes me but I am meeting my goals.

Last week she wanted me exercising morning and night because my fasting blood sugar upon arising was not quite in the range. Its hard being on this psych med which I can't come off because the benefits outweigh the risks according to my shrink.

I don't eat much and hardly have any carbs but she wants me to be at 90kgs which is doable. I have an earthing mat which significantly boosts metabolism which I think is why I've been able to sustain my progress apart from daily exercise and resistance bands training

My father was in London during WWII. I don't know anything about my ancestry as the family line was fuelled with alcohol induced violence. My dad turned out ok but he struggled through life. His brothers were conscripted into the navy during the war while dad went into the airforce post war. He came to Australia to get away from his family of origin which was a good move.

Hi

My husband smoked for 23 years and I cleaned up every butt. He used to put them in the guttering over the laundry and I would have to get up on a ladder and clean them out, handfuls at a time.

My colleague smoked in front of me for seven years while I did conservation field work.

I never got involved in whether or not they would give up, phone Quitline, go to smoke - enders, try hypnosis or as weird as it sounds take Champix ( which can have severe 'black box warning' side effects )

Now my son smokes and he is unemployed and can't even afford to smoke yet somehow does.

I think you can assertively (strongly and convincingly) state your case and reality. Then walk away. There is nothing else you can do.

Eventually when I was divorced my husband stopped smoking. Later he had to have an operation to remove the bottom lobe of his right lung.

It's difficult to watch smokers.

I fantasise about a day when tobacco is no longer farmed or sold as cigarettes.

To this day the National Party is still taking donations from the Tobacco Industry.

Nicotine addiction is very powerful. Only significant individual motivation can stop an individual - a heavy chain smoker needs medical support to stop and weekly visits to a GP and counselling from the Quitline - they will probably have to go on nicotine replacement to start with and then gradually over many months reduce this.

It can happen but its up to them not you.

@ClockFace, the more of your posts I read the more I realize that smoking is not the major issue in your life at the moment. Sorry I was so outspoken. I think many of us are dealing with too much. Hoping something will improve for us all soon.