Mental // physical

Today Ive been experiencing a really bad headache, heart palpitations, hands shaking, pain in my knee, head feeling dizzy on and off and now feeling queezy. After really stressing myself out last night, this is the physical result. Flashbacks have been awful today. A lot of what happened to me when I was little has been coming up but I put that down to being told some new information recently that I have had no one to talk to about. I have so much emotional pain inside. Also resulting in some very dark thoughts/urges/actions. I had a 'plan' cross my mind, an idea/thought that has come up a couple of times recently. This is a result of feeling hopeless. I know what I need to get me out of this but no one will help me. I need medication. I don't want to relapse again like I did the other week! Or worse!