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Something’s not right

Not coping

AnonymousEmpathContributor

Not coping

I’m not coping well today., The SH and Suicidal ideation and urges has intensified… I don’t I can hold it off much longer… all I can think of is how to end my own life., the constant vivid imagery of ways and how’s to do it as well the real like feeling of when I do it is very real to me… I honestly don’t care what happens to me coz no one does anyways so why bother when no else bothers anyways… I hate feeling like this but it’s my reality day in and day out., how can I keep myself facade from myself … I guess this is the bitter pill I gotta take…

8 replies

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In response to: Not coping

HistoryloverSenior Contributor

Re: Not coping

Walking a similar path, @AnonymousEmpath. I don't have any words of wisdom, but I just needed to let you know that you are not alone.

In response to: Not coping

Unknown userMember

Re: Not coping

Hi @AnonymousEmpath, I'm really sorry to hear how hard things are right now. It sounds like it is taking a lot of strength to hold off from those thoughts and plans right now.

I'm really concerned about you @AnonymousEmpath. It's really important to talk to someone if you're struggling to hold off from those thoughts. The following services are available for exactly that:

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Samaritans: 135 247

If in immediate danger: 000

I'm going to send you an email as well, so please check your inbox and reply so we can talk about how to keep you safe for now.

Thinking of you and sending you hugs if you want them 💜

In response to: Not coping

Kyle1Senior Contributor

Re: Not coping

@AnonymousEmpath @Historylover

I think I can relate. I've been wondering about ways to die 'beautifully'?

If there is such a thing...

In response to: Not coping

Kyle1Senior Contributor

Re: Not coping

@AnonymousEmpath

I wake up that way these days. I don't like to, but I do.

It hurts.

Can I ask: besides ideation etc, what's been the curve ball? Is it BPD, or something more?

In response to: Not coping

rockypugSenior Contributor

Re: Not coping

Hi @AnonymousEmpath

I'm Rockypug one of the moderatos here this morning,

I am sending you a private email.

In response to: Not coping

Kyle1Senior Contributor

Re: Not coping

@AnonymousEmpath

am sorry to hear that.

I have no knowledge or experience of BPD. No insight to share with you there, unfortunately.

I'm feeling you, though.

The native Americans believe that when we die we take our mind with us. Not our decision making mind, but our mind bank.

Imagine if they're right about that... it would mean that even in eternal sleep you'd be feeling the same....

In response to: Not coping

Sez1Casual Contributor

Re: Not coping

Hi, I'm only new on the forum but I live with BPD and some days, weeks or even months can be super difficult. There is hope though it sometimes is just about getting through each second until it passes. Because it does pass.

On my really bad days, I spend most of the time distracting myself either with cleaning watching a movie or something that keeps my brain busy enough not to grab onto the unhelpful thoughts.

I practice really hard to let the thoughts just come and go and not grab onto them. When I'm feeling a bit more stable I then tackle the hard mind stuff to get me to a place where I'm coping.

I hope this helps a little, but mainly to let you know your not alone in how you feel.

In response to: Not coping

Kyle1Senior Contributor

Re: Not coping

nah, doesn't trigger me. Just waking up in the mornings triggers me these days @AnonymousEmpath

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