reflect

Kenny

I tough never having been a little boy.

That's what you wrote.

I resonates with me. I think our stories might be very similar.

This is the first time in my life I've heard someone say that while not being me.

If I'm right then you have my highest admiration just for staying alive.

To attempt to live an abnormal life in as normal a way possible.

I think this forum may be a key for people like you and people like me to finally connect in a life full of disconnection.

I find disclosing here quite painful and difficult. Mainly because of the kindness people offer back.

But I think that just maybe I should keep trying to open up.

You have hinted at the events that made you what you are. I applaud you for this. Keep droppimng those breadcrumbs dude.

It may hurt but compared to past hurts it's a sweet hurt is'nt it?

I choose to believe , against all evidence that

Hope Endures

Rick

Thanks Rick

I was let down every step of the way. I confided in someone twice about what was happening, one of whom was the family dr. Both tmes my parents were told about it so i quickly lost hope about being rescued.

You probably know this but the hardest thing about it is the fact that no one acknowledges the severity of what happened.

I do have hope that one day i can tell my story.

Dear @kenny66

I find this horrendous every time I read it: that those who were told did not believe and handed info or child (or both) back to abusers. It is heartbreaking, and it has happened so many times over so many years to so many kids.

When will we learn to deal with this better? To believe the child? It is still happening to others.

This is part of why I feel speaking out as we are is so important. When we are ready & if we want to, we can chose to add our voice to other's until it is too loud to sweep under the carpet any more.

In recent months I've been in contact with survivors in the UK, Canada and the US mainly through Twitter (something I signed up to solely to follow my local CFA region fire updates). It is surprising how strong this connection grows. A bit like the forum in a way, but much shorter (140 characters, which can drive you batty sometimes) and much more public. Like the forum it's been a gift to support and be supported. Many survivors also have blogs, sharing aspects of their own journey (like the "dear inner child" post).

Blessings to you beautiful friend. You didn't deserve this, nobody does.

Kindest regards,

Kristin

Kenny

again you match me step for step.

I sought help so many time over those 14 years and each it went back to her.

what followed was horrific.

I have never thus far heard an echo of my own story before.

it is most upsetting. I had hope that evil was bound only to me so it could nnot touch others.

I am so very sorry that you were broken on this terrible wheel. It is something I would not wish upon someone wwho i might hate, let alone another innocent.

Again though I;m amazed by your strength for you have lived on and done good things.

I do not know that I have the strength to survive in the longer term.

I live fromm day to day and that is my best.

Thank you for your story. Bless you and the people who keep you strong.

Rick

Whether its for 14 days or 14 minutes, no child should be subject to torture and abuse. I do reflect on my situation deeply but i actually get so much more distressed hearing about others who have experienced it.

So many other people have terrible life experiences so i try and think about them and stop focusing on my own condition. Compassion for others in the same circumstances makes it bearable.

Dearest @Rick & @kenny66

I find it heartbreaking reading your posts, but also heartening. I often feel like crying, and sometimes do. Both of you are so amazing. Raw, honest, beautiful gifts to us all. Thank you.

I truly hope you are finding "against all evidence" we care.

to you both,

Kristin

Kristin

i have been made welcome here.

I am very surprised.

You Kristin have consistently shown a depth of feeling towards we posters, we mentally mangled.

You are the one who is special because no doubt you have bugbears in your head as well you put others before yourself.

It is very humbling to observe. And I have been observing. I read a lot more than I post and you are always there.

I believe in God as a force for Good. He's a complete bastard for what he has allowed but he's a long thinker.

So please take this in the right spirit

GOD BLESS YOU!

Your kind remarks and small words are gems that whilst they may cut a wounded man are also precious and word more than I can say.

It is because of people like you that

Hope endures

Rick

I agree with @Rick, the kind responses are overwhelming.

The schizophrenia is a hard beast, it never lets bad experiences go-they just sit there on a continual replay.

Anyway i have spoken about this issue on the forum, which is a big achievement in itself.