Disassociation??

Hi @ClockFace

No need to be sorry for posting a lot! We're happy you're reaching out. I'm glad you have left a message for your case manager. I used to work in community mental health and know they can be hard to get a hold of sometimes. We had a beautiful admin person who was great at supporting our consumers when their case manager wasn't around. Me as the peer worker could do that too. I'm wondering if they have a peer worker there you may be able to get a hold of before the weekend hits and you have to wait until Monday?

Hanami

Hi @ClockFace , it's tough when you can sense there's more to life than what seems to be going on around you, I have grappled with that for many years. It doesn't help that everything seems like a giant game and nobody wants to tell you the rules! I understand society places us in positions where we often have to 'play a part', I can see now most people have a lot more going on in their lives than they will talk about. I had a lot of this kind of disconnect for a long time, there certainly was a lot to learn. I think that our society places different constraints on us and we need to understand the constraints, otherwise we become unwell and end up in the care of mental health services. I know you have a lot of things going on and too much confusion is very hard to deal with. The only way I could cope was tackle a few of the issues at a time, to work everything out at once was way too hard.

@hanami

Im hoping so. There is an option of contacting rural and remote after hours. I did also think about calling SANE if I get no where with my case manager

Good idea @ClockFace ! I hope you can find some peace for yourself this weekend 😊

Hi @ClockFace @hanami @justanotherguy

This is really brave post Malen.

I have had moments where I can't get a grip on reality... That very surreal feeling.

There's an interesting thread on another website, something about matrix. Really cool stories from everyday people about bizarre happenings.

I think maybe as well, times of severe ongoing stress can cause breakdowns in cognitive abilities. Like living in auto pilot. For me it feels like a disconnect from my authentic self. Trying to survive each moment.

Things 'feel' un - real.

My psych described it as disassociation too.

It's like a disconnect from source.

.....-----......-----......-----.....--

It's weird, this morning I was in a space of being calm & happy in my own company.

Now tonight, I'm lonely & lost again.

I wonder if this is part of the confusion? Like, it's ourselves - the world reflecting on how we feel inside?

Reality is a tricky one!!

There is the reality of senses perceive....& Then there's all these other layers & undercurrents.

It's interesting that you express you don't feel or think you are real.

I'm nowhere near an expert on any of this stuff.

The thought that's coming to my mind is when they say in movies etc .. ' it's too big for the human mind to possibly comprehend''

I get these awesome moments of total clarity & yet I'm no closer to any understanding.

I think it's probably, definately stress related too.

At times I'm superhero strong. Other times I wish I had a kind person to take over & tell me it's all ok. Lonliness, feeling separate really sux. I wonder if it's not the most critical element to our mental health. Connection. Feeling cared for & loved, no matter what.

Sending you love Malen. Sorry I can't do more from this end. We need 'uber angels' on call 24/7. No more worries, confusion, fears. Sweet kind people that let us know it's ok.

It's ok Malen. If no one else happens to let you know💖 sending big internet hug. I need one too.

Hey @StanD @ClockFace you both express yourselves really well on such a tough topic.

Thank you for sharing your insight.

Hoping the weekend is ok for you.

😊👍