How quick things change

I meant to add this. I am quite overweight and it is getting me down today, it bothers me normally but not to the extent that its on my mind a lot and I am having body image issues, I suppose I do have body image issues, but its not like my sisters so I dont class it as such. I am generally of the opinion that I am the weight I am and theres little I can do on that day. But today, I feel like I shouldnt eat for a month or so and maybe Ill feel better about myself.

I am really bothered by how I look today cause I have dreadful body acne, I cover it up if I leave the house and as much as I can at home. Both my Mum and sister want to pick them and while I dont like the process, mine are deep and painful to get out. But its the commentry of how gross it is, in turn how gross I am. I get boils, huge boils, some the size of your palms generally on the back of my legs. They have to be allowed to grow and either come to a head and burst (which is completely gross and means a shows and pants change) if they dont come to a head but get nice and hard they get cut open, a bit more controlled and far less messy. But the acne and boils make me feel gross, very ashamed of my body, far more than my weight.

Overall I wouldnt say I am attractive, thats not being critial just some people are attractive others arent and I lie on the arent side. It doesnt bother me, there is nothing I can do about, If I could be transformed I probably wouldnt bother. If I could have my physical and mental issues wiped away thats a different story.

Hello @ClockFace thought I'd say hi. Usually with blood in urine they do a blood test to check for bladder infection then give an ultrasound to see in your bladder. If they can rule that out they will run tests for your kidneys. I know you must be having catastrophic thinking over it but just do the tests, stay calm and try to plan strategically if you have to face surgery.

You may have to put yourself first for a change, Malen.

It might just be one of those days that you are feeling despondent about things and getting caught up in negative thinking and allowing emotion to get the best of you today. You may be feeling sullen and just wanting to go into retreat which is understandable when we are not altogether happy about things.

I would use today just to restore and rejuvenate your vital energy and try and coast along as best you can.

With acne it responds to sunlight. I don't know what part of the country you are in but giving your whole body sunlight exposure can reduce acne. Another thing you can do (if you don't have dark skin) is use apple cider vinegar and dilute it in water and spray on your body. There are naturopaths online that have written articles about acne and apple cider vinegar. It works better than acne preparations.

You may want to get those boils checked out. My dad used to have them.

Just try and ride the day through as best you can and recognise these thoughts and feelings won't stay with you forever. Its hard to manage difficult emotions and try and process them while sitting with a difficult potential case scenario. So just focus on some self nurturing and time out for yourself while you grapple with these difficult and inconvenient themes in your life

@Former-Member

Just got back from the Docs. Turns out that I have a migrane, which may be contributing to my mood.

Yeah they took some and sent it off. I have bladder cancer and wasnt long ago that I had a cystoscopy which wasnt pleasent. The Urologist didnt allow time for the local to work before shoving the scope in, I sat bolt upright in pain and now peeing blood I thought maybe he did something, could be a new tumor, could be a clot getting stuck for now they are going with maybe its an infection.

I didnt know about the applecider vinegar thing, I might try it. Save from a seeing another dermatologist I have tried most everything else.

I'm really disapppointed to hear you have bladder cancer @ClockFace that must come as a huge blow to you, together with the recent blood in your urine.

I think you are coping quite well considering.

With the apple cider vinegar its not recommended to use it and then get sun exposure as your skin can burn easily so a sunscreen is recommended before you go in the sunshine. I also saw its irritating to open wounds.

So just be careful. Its great for removing acne scars as the top layer of dead skin is taken off and the scar pigmentation with it. I use it myself and its great for my skin!

I can't afford fancy products. It also makes the skin plump and hydrated as new skin cells form lending to a beautiful complexion.

But yes the apple cider vinegar has to be diluted with water. I use a spray pak and keep it in the fridge and after I shower I spritz my face and body with it.

I hope you are feeling a bit better about things soon. Just be gentle with yourself! ❤️