understandingContributor
advice re bipolar 2 and associated symptoms
hi. im posting this in this bc im hoping hearing from people that have bipolar or people who have loved ones with bipolar will help make some sense of this. this is a little bit of a complicated story but I will try and make it make sense. I (F42) and my bf/partner (M44) live in different countries. opposite sides of the world. he has a 6yo child from a previous relationship. he was diagnosed with bipolar2 in his 20s. (should clarify we have been in this for about a year and a half). he refuses to take medication. refuses to see a doctor or mental health professional. he refuses to take any note of his own symptoms or triggers or take any steps to manage them. I have done a lot of research to try and understand how it works and he does not care to know - his words. he displays 'standard' bipolar symptoms and displays a lot of anger and aggression. i should note he does this to me. to others he is loud and jovial and refers to himself as the 'clown'. the anger and I guess 'meanness' is present everytime he speaks to me. he dipped into a low in august 2022 and has not come out of it since. he is addicted to alcohol which he effectively uses to self medicate. he refuses to acknowledge the truth if the addiction. he has been trying to at least cut down on his alcohol in the last couple of months. he is also incredibly competitive which I understand is related to very high dopamine levels. he participates in a weekly team competition. when he doesnt perform to his expectations it causes an anger bout and he will turn aggressive and also turn to alcohol. last Friday he did not perform as well as he wanted and his team lost. he was in a rage spiral. I spoke to him for about 5 minutes and he was very angry and told me he was going to bed. he wasn't. I could hear it. seems he ended up getting very drunk and going to his ex gf and im fairly sure he slept with her. I found out thru social media that something had happened. he lied about all of it. when I told him I knew his anger exploded even further (he said some pretty awful things), blamed me for looking at social media and he has cut me off from speaking to him. I am broken. I should add I spent a month with him (I visited him) from Xmas to the end of January and he was not like this with me in person. he was angry and aggressive before I got there (august to December) then while I was there it was what it should be then as soon as I left it took a day for it to turn again. I know that he 'blames' me for leaving. i raise that only 2 make the situation clearer. A big issue for him is that we r not in the same place - which I keep trying to speak to him about in realistic terms - to try and resolve and make realistic plans - but he gets angry everytime I raise it and won't speak. what he puts across is that I should just drop everything and go there. I raise that only to show the unrealistic approach he takes. i understand all of the obvious things that r wrong in this picture. this post is not about that. what I am really asking for here is whether this behaviour makes sense to people who genuinely have bipolar2. particularly unmedicated. and any thoughts about what he needs to do for himself here. thanku for ur time
