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Rock bottom

GuinNew Contributor06 Mar 2023, 7:01 pm AEDT

Rock bottom

I have not been on a public forum before. It is hard to express what it is I am feeling but it is the loneliness that hurts the most. I have been a single Mum for 8.5 years and initially I felt supported and I had a place where I felt safe. During COVID and ongoing I feel as though I have lost most of my friends and with that the support that came with them.

My daughter is neurodiverse and so am I, it has been an exhausting and difficult journey these past few years.

I recently met a person who I really connected with and who I thought understood what it was like for us in this world. I had not felt so connected to anyone in over a decade. I loved still love them but due to circumstances beyond my control they no longer want to be with me. I am heart broken and utterly exhausted due to my inability to understand why.

Not that I wasn't already exhausted beforehand, everything seems 10 X worse now.

I believe I have hit rock bottom.

I am reaching out to all that I can, but the dread that hits me sometimes, at the thought that I am alone once again seems too much to bear.

Anyway it feels better to share these feelings with others.

3 replies

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In response to: Rock bottom

JynxModerator06 Mar 2023, 7:31 pm AEDT

Re: Rock bottom

Hey @Guin, first off welcome to the forums. It can take a lot of courage to reach out in a new space, so we hope you find it a very welcoming and supportive community here.

I'm really sorry to hear how much of a struggle you've been going through, isolation is a real heavy one. Humans are social creatures, so the intensity of what you're going through is very understandable.

Sounds like COVID has also done a number on your social circle, and thus your number of potential supports. And then adding in the ending of a relationship - that is such a big challenge, especially when you're not really sure why. With such a significant loss, it is normal to experience grief in the aftermath, and it's important to give yourself time to process that. You could also give Griefline a buzz if you think it could help to talk to someone who specialises in how loss affects us.

I'm ND too, so I know what it's like having that Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria in the mix, makes it really hard. Out of curiosity, do you think you could possibly try to reconnect with some of your old friends you had before lockdown? Or if you're feeling adventurous, you could also have a look for some groups on meetup - it's a great way to meet new people.

I hope you find some connection here on the forums, and of course don't hesitate to reach out to us if you have any questions - you can always tag a moderator by typing @ then writing moderator and selecting it from the drop down, so it shows up in blue like this - @moderator

(that's also how you tag other users, so they get a notification and can see you've replied to them 😊).

In response to: Re: Rock bottom

GuinNew Contributor06 Mar 2023, 8:13 pm AEDT

Re: Rock bottom

@Jynx I find it extremely difficult to meet new people I have tried meetup before and not found many like minded people. Perhaps I was searching for the wrong thing.

In response to: Re: Rock bottom

JynxModerator06 Mar 2023, 8:28 pm AEDT

Re: Rock bottom

@Guin that is fair. It can be hard to find 'your people'. Something I've found is that it is waaaay easier to connect with other ND folks. Not always easy to find, but sometimes if you go out and start doing things you enjoy, you find like-minded people there who you can connect with. It also can take a while to build a connection with someone, so doing things regularly gives you more opportunity to build those connections. What sort of stuff do you love to do?

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