New here today - feeling lost

Hi @Sosad76
I'm pleased you've joined us here because you'll find a lot of support from a very friendly mob that is SANE.
Drinking isn't helpful but you already know this. You've suffered a huge amount of loss and this does take its toll. Have you thought of seeking some grief counselling?
Day to day coping for me has been a matter of breaking my day up in to manageable segments, particularly when at work. As you work in an area where you are largely responding to specific needs try hard to concentrate on one task at a time except of course in emergency situations.
When you're starting to feel overwhelmed it might be worth considering coming here to see if talking with others helps you to put things in a better perspective. Above all breathe slowly and deeply.
@utopia may be able to help you with the drinking aspect as I believe that if you can get this under control a lot of things might get a bit easier.
I've got to dash out and do a few things this morning but I'll keep an eye open for any posts from you.
Hugzzz 💕 🎶

Thanks @Kurra for tagging me into this post. I'm happy to be tagged.
Hi @Sosad76. Well done for having the courage to post here and be honest with some of the issues currently causing chaos in your life.
Let me first say you are not alone in your feelings or your coping strategies - putting ona smile, even when you ddon't feel like it - & using alcohol to try and avoid or numb your emotions.
I also have depression and anxiety. I have situational depression - basically I'm sensitive to stress.
I used to drink to numb my pain and to try to avoid my emotions. It didn't help. Makes the depression and anxiety harder to deal with - even if on medication.
I also had suicidal thoughts earlier this year - that really scared me. I didn't want to die. I just didn't want to live with all this pain. So I booked myself into a private clinic. I couldn't drink in hospital - so that was another help. I gave up alcohol for 3 months in total. Then would just have a social (weak) drink. But as a new anxiety crept in - I found I was starting to have a drink or two on my own again. So now I've made a commitment to my psychologist and myself and my family - that I will be alcohol free for 12 months. I was worried I was starting to fall back into my old & bad pattern.
I've been working really hard with my psychologist (who is also an ex drug & alcohol counselor), to work through my issues, one at a time and learn helpful copingttechniques.
I've learnt a lot about myself this year. I'm starting to love who I truly am - the good, the bad & the ugly.
I have more days of contentment and moments of happiness - than depression days.
So I'd recommend going to see a psychologist - one who has an understanding of past traumas and alcohol use. You can get a referral from your gp. Your gp may also prescribe some anti depressant medication - but you do need to be honest with the amount you drink. As this will have an effect on the meds.
You are not alone. You have been coping as best as you could - the only way you knew how to. But there is help out there. There are better coping techniques. And you can feel better and move on from this period of your life.
If your suicidal thought continue - please call LifeLine. Also let your gp know about these thoughts.
I'm happy to talk with you any time you need.
You can and will move past this. You have already reached out here. The next step is to reach out to your gp.
Sending you my best thoughts.

Hi @Sosad76,

Welcome to the SANE Forums!

I am Shimmer, one of the moderators here

It sounds like you have been through a lot, with your depression, anxiety, numerous deaths and your ex-husband's affairs. I'm really sorry to hear about these things, particularly the loss of your babies. At the moment this all seems to be impacting your mood, alcohol use, relationship and work. That's understandable, I can imagine it being very difficult to cope with everything.

You mentioned that you had thoughts about ending your life. If you are thinking about suicide and feeling unsafe, please call/chat online to a crisis helpline:

Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467

Lifeline: 13 11 14

GriefLine: 1300 845 745

Good on you for reaching out on the Forums for help and to explore with others how to cope better. I'm curious, what are some things that you already do that you feel are helpful in coping? It's great to hear about your great career, beautiful daughter and new husband - I'd love to hear more about their positive influences in your life.

You mentioned that your life revolves around caring for others - I'm curious, do you take any time out to look after yourself? Self-care is so important to our mental health

Once again, welcome @Sosad76, the Forums are full of wonderful supportive members like @Kurra, @utopia and @Heart, I hope you find being involved helpful in your journey towards feeling better.

Take care,

Shimmer