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I think I need some kind of long term intervention

JlolSenior Contributor27 Feb 2023, 2:29 pm AEDT

I think I need some kind of long term intervention

I think about suicide 24/7. I hate living. It's incredibly hard work with very, very little joy.

I don't know why but I just hate everything about life - waking up, eating, sleeping. It's all uncomfortable and guilt-ridden. Add on to that work and navigating all the social aspects of life and it's just horrible. Hence the obsession with suicide.

I know this isn't right or natural and I've spoken to many mental health professionals about it and they don't really seem to know what to do.

I feel I need to spend a good amount of time not working or fulfilling social obligations and just working on myself and this problem. But how? If I stop working I lose my income and my home.

Has anyone gone into a psychward or something like that for a long time for something like this? How was it?

4 replies

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In response to: I think I need some kind of long term intervention

PeregrinefalconSenior Contributor27 Feb 2023, 2:48 pm AEDT

Re: I think I need some kind of long term intervention

Hey @Jlol!

Thank you for being so open and honest with what you are going through right now. It is something many of us I am sure can relate to, myself included.

I have asked myself the same question in the past of 'how am I supposed to truly work on my mental health right now, if I also have full time work/study/other commitments? Is that even possible?'.

If we are not in the position of being able to up and leave a job/commitments, one thing that can be helpful is trying to cut back as much as we can. For example, I switched to part-time study for a while. Did it mean my degree took longer? Yep. But it also meant that I had an extra few days of breathing room where I could focus on myself.

I am sure there are many others in the community who have experience in this domain. It is something that so many of us grapple with.

Take good care of yourself @Jlol. I am glad you are here 😊

(for yourself or anyone else reading - you can call any of the following services for immediate support:)

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Samaritans: 135 247

If in immediate danger: 000

In response to: I think I need some kind of long term intervention

FloatingFeatherSenior Contributor27 Feb 2023, 3:35 pm AEDT

Re: I think I need some kind of long term intervention

Hi @Jlol,

I can really feel how difficult things are for you through your post. It sounds like a really hard place to be - it's great that you have reached out here. I would imagine how you are feeling is something others could relate to.

Can you think of times when things were better and life was more enjoyable for you? Is there something from those times you remember doing that brought you some joy such as music, movies, painting, exercise etc? I totally understand that may be the last thing you want to do (I have had severe depression in the past and had no motivation) but what if you gave one of those things that brought you a bit of joy a bit of a go?

I understand what you mean when you talk about needing time away from work and social things to work on yourself and your problem. This is just a lived experience from someone close to me that did do that and in their experience this just exacerbated their problem as they retreated more into themselves and had more time to think as they didn't have the distractions of work and socialising.

When I was really flat and didn't feel motivated around anything or anybody I still did have to go to work for the same reasons you have mentioned. Even though it was the last thing I felt like doing in hindsight I think it helped me a little as it force me to get up in the mornings, engage with others, and allowed my mind some relief for a while as I had to focus on work.

I really wish you well and look forward to reading other people's thoughts around your post.

Warm regards,

FloatingFeather

In response to: I think I need some kind of long term intervention

Eve7Senior Contributor27 Feb 2023, 4:17 pm AEDT

Re: I think I need some kind of long term intervention

Hello @Jlol and thank you for sharing.

I can relate to those feelings and I spent 5 months in a psych hospital many years ago. It’s hard to juggle life and mh care but I was lucky in that my h supported me during those years

I had many years of wellness but have been back there the past couple of years. My h died some time ago and I’m on my own with grown up kids.

Sitting with you today.

In response to: Re: I think I need some kind of long term intervention

JlolSenior Contributor27 Feb 2023, 5:00 pm AEDT

Re: I think I need some kind of long term intervention

> Can you think of times when things were better and life was more enjoyable for you? Is there something from those times you remember doing that brought you some joy such as music, movies, painting, exercise etc? I totally understand that may be the last thing you want to do (I have had severe depression in the past and had no motivation) but what if you gave one of those things that brought you a bit of joy a bit of a go?

There's heaps and heaps of things I enjoy. The issue is energy and time.

I work a normal job which is 8hrs. Add about 3 hrs for commute and getting ready. Then add another 1hr for exercise. And then its dark outside and I'm completely exhausted. And that's before anything like cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, other family duties, etc.

Simply, I dont have the time and energy to do anything.

I feel like I'm in jail. Yes, there are all these things I enjoy out there. But I'm on the wrong side of the bars.

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