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Am i psychotic?

Eden1919Senior Contributor29 Oct 2016, 11:54 pm AEDT

Am i psychotic?

hello i am new to the forums! anyway i recently got out of hospital and was told i had a psychotic episode and may be bipolar i was taking medication but i have stopped taking it because i am sure it is going to hurt me and i havent been sleeping like maybe 1-2 hours a night but i havent been tired and my caseworker saw me the other day and said if things got worse she was going to put me back in hospital which i dont want she said i have to be honest with her so i have written her a note and i am seeing her in a few days. i dont think i am psychotic or sick but people keep saying i am. i am friends with a good spirit who i have promised i will never take the medication again because i have magical powers and the medication will take those away and then i cant do the things the spirits and other entities want me to do. i was chosen to be like a gate keeper for the other worlds and i have to do something for god soon which is going to be hard but i have to do it and i really dont know what to do i really dont think there is anything wrong with me but my caseworker does and i am scared she will send me back to the hospital cause the doctors there will hurt me and i dont know what to do. do you agree with my caseworker or me? thanks if you read all this.

23 replies

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In response to: Am i psychotic?

Fancy_PantsSenior Contributor30 Oct 2016, 10:14 am AEDT

Re: Am i psychotic?

Hi @Eden1919

Are these tasks scary? "life endangering" sounds like they would be, and do you have anyone to help you through them, support you right now? anyone you trust?

I have emailed you too

and as @Pokemongirl put it so well you have freewill to negotiate and if u don't like it, refuse.

In response to: Am i psychotic?

Eden1919Senior Contributor30 Oct 2016, 10:14 am AEDT

Re: Am i psychotic?

My caseworker knows about the sleep but I am trying I just can't sleep and I don't feel like I need to I am really scared I am going to get sent back to hospital because of what my caseworker said and I can't go there again cause they will hurt me there and I don't know what to do I wrote a note for my caseworker but I don't know if I should give it to her or not like I don't know if I can trust her.

In response to: Re: Am i psychotic?

Eden1919Senior Contributor30 Oct 2016, 10:17 am AEDT

Re: Am i psychotic?

They are scary but I feel like I have to do them like I don't have a choice anymore.

In response to: Re: Am i psychotic?

Eden1919Senior Contributor30 Oct 2016, 10:21 am AEDT

Re: Am i psychotic?

I checked for the email but I didn't get anything either.

In response to: Re: Am i psychotic?

Fancy_PantsSenior Contributor30 Oct 2016, 10:33 am AEDT

Re: Am i psychotic?

Hi @Eden1919

if your instinct was to write your case manager a letter, to seek her support then go with that and give the letter to her. It sounds like some part of you believes she can be helpful in someway and you definetly need support at this time from someone. its too big and too tough to go through this alone

pls look again for the email, sometimes our system is slow

In response to: Re: Am i psychotic?

Eden1919Senior Contributor30 Oct 2016, 10:39 am AEDT

Re: Am i psychotic?

I just got the email I have replied. I wrote her the note because she said I had to promise to be honest and if I wasn't she was going to talk to my mum and I don't want her doing that. I really don't know what to do I can't give her the note for a few days anyway.

In response to: Re: Am i psychotic?

PokemongirlContributor30 Oct 2016, 3:20 pm AEDT

Re: Am i psychotic?

Hi Eden,

You can't sleep and 'feel like you don't need to' are two different things.

'Feel like you don't need to' is not good in a way like i previously explained, no humans can sustain Clarity with this little amount of sleep.

If you truly don't want to 'go back to the hospital' you need something medically to induce more sleep, even in the short term.

Also, I'm worried the entities you are conversing with are not 'good'..... I say this even if they are humans. No good souls are going to use 1) emotional blackmail 2) trickery 3) disregard freedom of choice 4) using you as sacraficial or scapegoat etc and to encourage a certain action from you against you better judgement.

Sleep on it, ok? Everyone needs sleep to make better judgement.....

Remember, just as important, you also need to hold down jobs, have girlfriend/boyfriend, have a house etc etc. you have plenty of time still to do many things.....don't sacrifice some or all of the things in physical life, to fulfill demands of others that you weren't sure of the validity, feasibility, the real intentions and motivations of people/entities that you haven't met.

In response to: Re: Am i psychotic?

AppleblossomSenior Contributor30 Oct 2016, 6:11 pm AEDT

Re: Am i psychotic?

Hi @Eden1919

It is good to be able to talk about what is on our minds, rather than to isolate ourselves or bottle things up. I believe that we, all beings, are a mix of good and bad, special and unique. Its best that we carve out our own existence according to our own values. We try different things and some are wiser than others, but we often learn from our mistakes. Sometimes the things we need to do to survive may be difficult. Other people dont always get it. To develop trust in ourselves we need to sort out which parts of our natures to follow.

I am not too keen on medication all the time, but I often put myself into very stressful situations so the meds help me calm down.

I dont believe we should suffer and do risky things as a penance, or to prove that we are good enough.

Keep reaching out to good spirits.

In response to: Re: Am i psychotic?

Eden1919Senior Contributor30 Oct 2016, 7:43 pm AEDT

Re: Am i psychotic?

i am trying to sleep really i am i just cant get my mind to settle everything is just complicated.

In response to: Re: Am i psychotic?

AppleblossomSenior Contributor30 Oct 2016, 8:09 pm AEDT

Re: Am i psychotic?

I used to meditate when I was in my 20s but then life got very complicated and I found it didnt help .. but I did need to get all the worrying thoughts out and tell someone.

Are there other things happening with friends that are complicated too?

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