Tired

Ive written in here before but for the last 3 months I have been looking after my sister while she hops from one hospital to another and eventually into a mental health facility. She has now been diagnosed with Boarder Line Personality Disorder and they are moving to have her discharged in a couple days. She is still self harming, she has pretty regular outbreaks and just isnt herself, but they want her to go home, which I dont understand. Surely there should be some 'treatment' give her some tools etc. but no its out the door.

Not to make it about myself, Ive taken time off work to look after my sister and would like to go back as soon as I can. I am also having to deal with my own medical issues, I have mental health issues, Im hallucinating, visual, auditory and tactile. I am dealing with bladder cancer, I had a scan last Friday, it came back good, but the local wasnt given time to work so it was incredibly painful and I am having to follow up with that. I have SI Joint disfunction (among other spinal issues) for some reason that has been really painful, I have maxed out on pain meds I can have as Im normally on pretty strong stuff (patch etc). I have been having tests which came back favourably and I am schedualled for bilateral RF ablasion on the 9th of March. Added to all this, it has been a exceptionally long 3 months and I am tired, exhusted. A day or so ago I crashed out. I had a rough night sleep but got up to get into the day and kept falling asleep at the table. Eventually I got up and went to bed and slept most the day, got up had my meds and went back to sleep for the night and slept into the day. I then had an early night and slept late the next day (today) its 4 in the afternoon and I am working to do my chores and go to bed early.

I have been the person that has dealt with doctors and the like. I generally visit daily, though I have been having more breaks recently as I dont have the energy. Even if I dont go see her, we talk via txt or phone through out the day. Generally I get a phone call or 2 with my sister going off about something, a day off only means I didnt drive the care remains.

My Dad visits occasionally, generally on weekends and now that she is on his way home sometimes he stops in. In the 3 months my sister has been in one hospital or another my Mum hasnt visited her once. She has made many excuses and my Dad has done all he can to make it easy for her to visit but no. Not even at Christmas. My Mum does decided to poke her head in when Kristal is being discharged as she doesnt want her to be. She decided to tell me the other day that I need to talk to a Doc and find out whats going on. I was not very polite in my responce. Ive been doing everything for my sister and her welfare for months, I didnt need her input at this stage. I have made sure that my parents were aware whats going on. I should mention that we all live together, though my Mum basically doesnt leave her room anymore.

My Dad doesnt get mental health, he never will. I got my diagnosis over 10 years ago and if you asked him what it meant he wouldnt be able to tell you. So, I have no expectation of help from him or from my Mum when my sister comes home. It will be left up to me to deal with her outbursts, crying, yelling etc. and I dont know that I have the strength in me to guide her through her illness and dealing with the mental health people she will be dealing with