Daughters Request for Assisted Dying

Hi @Angie5,

Welcome to the Forums. My name is FloatingFeather and I am one of the peer support workers at SANE. It is nice to have you with us, I'm sorry it is under such difficult circumstances.

I can read the pain in your post - it must be so difficult for you, your daughter and your family. I can only imagine what you have / are all going through.

I do think that your daughter agreeing to the six months whilst seeing a psychologist, changing meds and attending a support group is (hopefully for you all) a least a bit of breathing space and maybe during that time your daughter will find some hope and joy in her life.

In all honesty I don't have experience around schizophrenia - how it affects the person and or how it affects the carers. I also have no insight around assisted dying. I would think the best person to talk to is your daughter's psychologist / psychiatrist / professional team. I would also imagine that they would do everything in their power to help your daughter to have improved quality of life so she can have a quality of life that everyone deserves.

I do have experience as a family member and carer of a close family member that struggled (and still does) with a serious mental health diagnosis - in the initial stages (before and early diagnosis) my family member was feeling the way your daughter is. It did take time, trying different medications, therapists and therapies but I am glad to say my family member is doing a lot better today. It's not to say they are great but they did find hope and purpose and their quality of life did improve.

I would also encourage you (if you haven't already) to seek some support for yourself. What you are all going through is very hard and as a carer I know how lonely, confronting and difficult it can be to support someone you love who is going through something so difficult. I have attached a couple of links that may be of interest to you:

- Carers Australia

- Carer Gateway

I truly wish you and your daughter well - I know things seem dark right now but things can get better.

Warm wishes,

FloatingFeather

Hello @Angie5 and welcome to the forums.

I am so sorry this is happening for your family and I have to admit that there have been times I’ve wanted that for myself.

There are no loopholes, legal or otherwise for this to occur so hopefully there will be some sort of treatment that gives some relief in the not too distant future for your daughter.

Sending lots of love ❤️

It seems to me that often when we speak of ending things, we're actually trying to speak of their need to find a way to improvement, but running out of ideas of what that would look like. When it's like that there's hope but it's hope+struggle and definitely worth counting every win that can be counted.

Connection and purpose matters double. The book says we shouldn't guilt people into living. I agree, but I'd add that knowing people want you to live happily always makes a good difference.

Hi

You may find this TED Talk by Eleanor Longden helpful. There is always hope.

https://www.ted.com/talks/eleanor_longden_the_voices_in_my_head

Hello there, I am new too. My 30 year old son suffers from chronic, treatment resistant Paranoid Schizophrenia. I have lived through the chronic suicidality and crippling depression that comes with this illness. I am his sole carer and all of my family are 600km away.

I am actually a highly experienced psychiatric nurse, however all the knowledge and experience are useless or get in the way when you are dealing with your loved ones.

One thing I have noticed with my son is that he has trouble picturing things changing or looking at and planning for the future in any way. If your beloved daughter has the same problem then I can understand her suicidality, if she is unable to see that things change. It breaks my heart to hear what you are going through- I was horrified to read the heading of your post. I am actually trying at the moment to look for help and support for myself because I am falling apart a little bit here.

One thing I will say and it probably will feel useless at the moment, but my son is involved in an excellent group called Hearing Voices which is peer run and serves to help people diagnosed with schizophrenia to take some authority over themselves rather than feel powerless at the mercy of the mental health system- which is completely broken by the way. Its worth googling I think. Also I'm not sure where you are located but I think your local Primary Health Network also provides community support in quite a few ways. I really believe that for people with schizophrenia community connection is the most important thing. I understand that this feels like useless information when your daughter is so suicidal, but in my experience with schizophrenia that suicidality is always in the background. I found my son researching assisted death machines online only a few months ago.

So sorry I can't offer anything more useful, but what I am slowly learning is that I have to take some of the focus off my sick adult child and find ways to have meaning for myself (gardening is my thing) and people to talk to. i have observed that my son is very responsive to whatever the mood is in the home, and so the more functional I am the less stress and worry and grieving I am generating the better he functions. I am also trying to stop my son and his schizophrenia from being the primary focus in the household every day which is a challenge because all I do is stress and worry and grieve. Hang in there; my heart truly, truly goes out to you and I wish you strength and courage and self love, and that you and I and as many others can avoid becoming statistics.-

One more thing regarding medication- my son said to me once that the psych drugs they insist on using made him feel that his soul was dead inside of him. I watched as before my eyes he gained 35 kg on their favourite drug, (which starts with a "Z" and I'm apparently not allowed to mention it in the post) which is the drug everybody gets regardless. And I do believe that at this point in time mental illness is not considered in the current legislation around assisted dying, let's just hope and pray it stays that way

Anyway hang in there, make sure you have enough support as possible which is what I'm in the middle of doing now. All the very best to you.