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I feel so hopeless

DamienGNew Contributor09 Feb 2023, 5:43 pm AEDT

I feel so hopeless

Im a 35yr old Irish man who has been quite successful in life but hopeless in love. When I was in my 20s I had my heart constantly broken until I found a partner at 27 in NZ who loved me with all her heart but I couldn't find fulfillment after 7yrs so I left her and moved to Australia on my own to a full time WFH job in my own apartment. About a week after I moved I met a girl online who I developed very strong feelings for but she was moving cities so I tried to make it work but last Sunday she dumped me over text saying she "was not ready for a relationship" in turn I opened up my heart and she just ignored me which broke my heart. The pain I'm feeling now is everything hitting me at once and I don't have anyone at all here so I feel so alone. I guess what I miss most is human touch and affection. I have given up hope on finding love and having a family. What I don't understand is I'm a nice, funny, successful, hardworking and relatively handsome guy but I can never secure a decent relationship just flings which I don't want, I don't know what is wrong with me. I also never told my work colleagues about the breakup which means I've nobody to talk to at all about the pain.

3 replies

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In response to: I feel so hopeless

tymeModerator09 Feb 2023, 5:56 pm AEDT

Re: I feel so hopeless

Hey @DamienG ,

I'm hearing you. What I admire about your post is that you titled it "I feel so hopeless". The fact is you are FEELING this way - it does not mean you ARE hopeless.

I read you are experiencing the pain of being hurt and you feel you can't really speak to people about it. You are definitely not alone.

Being young, hardworking and decent, it is now about finding the right match - one who is ready to accept you for who you are. The last thing you want is a half who ultimately is not a good match, but has to share parental duties. What do you think?

I acknowledge you are hurting. I encourage you to continue reaching out here on the forums.

In response to: I feel so hopeless

Wide_horizonContributor09 Feb 2023, 6:03 pm AEDT

Re: I feel so hopeless

Breakups hurt! Being told "no" through text is insensitive, you can't even have closure. Being alone is painful.

Remember it is not your fault she left you. I know the pain won't subside with a few words of assurance. It's like bad flu that has to take its course before it diminishes.

You will be okay! you will survive this and find another person! and you will have a wife and kids. You will raise a family... it's just a matter of time.

A visit to the gym might be helpful in the mean time.

Warm regards

In response to: I feel so hopeless

SkitzoProdCasual Contributor09 Feb 2023, 9:57 pm AEDT

Re: I feel so hopeless

Finding someone who cares isn’t that easy man.. who really cares.. a ride or die lover.. there’s so much customisation with everything now.. people can swipe on lust, instead of love.. superficial is it because of pick a pretty face apps.. or ticking a crap load of boxes..
warts and all love (for sickness and in health) has diminished due to apps.. those quick flings will do ya head in dude.. finding real love.. just keep looking.. they’re out there somewhere.. time will heal that hurt.. I’m separated from previous 15 year relationship.. doesn’t hurt as much now.. you’ll find someone mate

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