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Terrifying mood swings

tobeornottobeCasual Contributor28 Oct 2016, 3:29 pm AEDT

Terrifying mood swings

Hello, my first time here. I've suffered depression/anxiety all my adult life, am 42. The last couple of months it's much worse. Up and down with depression, anxiety and churning thoughts. But the swings are phenomenal. Yesterday I felt good, did some housework, in the arvo went for a walk and while walking felt the depression returning and by last night was and still am in black depression. I have six beautiful children and a decent husband and i hide everything for the kids sake. Probably makes it worse but how do you tell them? I have been off meds for years but today have started some medication. Worried about driving to school pickup this arvo. Am in bed. Have had suicidal thoughts recently but am not planning anything. Having trouble expressing here how bad it is. Was hard to get kids off to school today and my 11yr old daughter asked why was I so miserable and I just said I was grumpy. Feel so hopeless. Like the emotions and bad feelings I've always tried to suppress and control have got the better of me. And i wonder is this an emotional problem or a physiological one? I never had much success with meds before, what if they don't work again? I haven't been this depressed for a long time and have never had such rapid mood changes. I am absolutely f***ing terrified. Is this another break down? I have precious little support. I always hide everything and isolate. My poor kids.

2 replies

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In response to: Terrifying mood swings

Unknown userMember28 Oct 2016, 4:14 pm AEDT

Re: Terrifying mood swings

Hi there @tobeornottobe,

A very big warm welcome to the forums, we hope you find it a supportive, caring and kind place for you to share your experiences with others and learn from theirs.

It sounds like you are having a really hard time lately with your depression and anxiety, which you have had your whole adult life but since going off medication for year and feeling okay, but the last few months have been particularly rough. You mentioned the depression returning and you started some medication again today, have you been able to call your GP or psychiatrist to discuss this change? It might be helpful to give them a call before the weekend just to talk about what you are experiencing right now and perhaps how long until the medication will start to settle in?

You also mentioned you havn't felt this bad in a long time, does that mean you have felt like this before, how did you cope through that time?

Is your husband able to be of any support to you if you open up to tell him, it sounds like you need all the help you can get,

Lunar

In response to: Terrifying mood swings

utopiaSenior Contributor28 Oct 2016, 4:30 pm AEDT

Re: Terrifying mood swings

Hi @tobeornottobe.
I also live with depression and anxiety. And I had been well for a number of years - when my depression came back. This was brought on by a workplace incident and the stress that came with it.
I wonder if there has been a trigger / an incident in the past few weeks or months that may have set it off again. It may just be that it has come back on its own.
Go and see your gp. Ask for a blood test to check your thyroid levels. This can often make our depression worse. You might even ask your gp to check your hormones for pre menopause. It can happen - even at your age.
Did you see your gp to get these new meds?
Suicidal thoughts - even without a plan - can be extremely frightening. When this happened to me earlier this year - I booked myself into a private hospital. Was the best thing I could have done. My life is really getting back on track again.
I think seeing a psychologist - as I do - would also help. Mine has helped me through some major anxiety crisis & also about communicating with my son better. I'm a single mum of a 14 year old.
I think it's important to tell your children what is happening with you - age appropriate. But you and your husband or you and your psychologist may want to work out how best to go about this.
I understand you may be frightened that you are feeling unwell again. Remember, you overcome it once. You can overcome it again.
If your suicidal thoughts become to much - please seek help immediately. You can talk to LifeLine or BeyondBlue at anytime. And on this site as well.
I'm thinking of you.

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