Simba142Contributor
A holistic approach to healing and recovery.
TW: mentions violent crime
Where do I begin? I was diagnosed around 17 years ago with Schizophrenia. At that point I stayed in bed for months, I didn’t want to socialise. I wanted to die. Many months later it occurred to me that I either die here in bed or I get up and make something of my life.
eventually I got back to work. I applied for work experience as a computer technician as it was an area of interest. Somehow I ended up in a relationship. I really disliked the idea of selling people things or charging exorbitant fees for service that was not required. Eventually I went back to study and shorty after my partner announced I was going to be a father. This, really kicked my ass. In order to support them I’d need to find another job asap. I managed to get a job as a liquor store 2ic until around 2 years later when I was held up just before Christmas. This, really, kicked my ass.
I immediately applied to QTAC and began studying I.T while working casual as a sales assistant. Our second child arrived a year later but that was long enough to get the experience and secure a new role in I.T. I felt the relationship was beginning to fall apart so I decided I’d need to make a few changes. I read a lot ok books, made some lifestyle changes (less liquor) and improved diet. I also began a mindfulness practice because inside I was on fire. I still felt irritated each weekend while at home and clearly this is was not my preference. I stopped taking the Anti-psychotic by tapering it down to and ceased taking it completely.
around 8 months later I went back to the same psychiatrist that I had originally seen, to discuss some of the concerns I had at the time. During a 20 minute appointment and very limited information I was told to begin taking the anti-psychotic medication and incrementally increase it overtime. I’m unsure what the target dose would have been but I only made if so far before I noticed, memory loss, coordination problems and the inability to sit and meditate without distraction.
A year later, after stopping the medication again, without consulting the practitioner, I was told “you don’t need anti-psychotic medication”
currently, nearly four years later, I don’t know what my diagnosis is and regardless of who I complain too, the ombudsman, AHPRA, hospital, health service, it appears they think I’m imagining it all or that, ignoring me will fix the situation.