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Something’s not right

Against the odds.

Against the odds.

(trigger warnings: mentions of abuse without graphic detail, mental health system systemic negligence and a serious un-alive attempt without going into detail)

I feel shame and guilt for being where I am in my 39 years of life; particularly in my journey towards self-actualisation. I dislike using the word "recovery", because that would imply that I once had a baseline that I was trying to reach once again. The trauma which occurred during the early formative years, unfortunately taught me the maladaptive coping tool of disassociation that I've been stuck with and in, basically most days, for the past 30+ years. This disassociation started occurring, due to 1 quite traumatising event (but many traumatic events followed it, during my early formative years).

I would like to try and keep this thread as my on-going discovery journey, a blog if you will, but I also would like it to be as concise as possible because I can easily get lost in my sea of thoughts, whether in spoken or written form. As I will be posting reasonably often with my progressive (and regressive moments), it seemed most appropriate to start the thread in this section, as although I'm finally making progress where I hadn't been able to for the past 30+ years, I'm often still left thinking/feeling that "something's not right" (laughing emoji).

At a recent Clinical Psychologist appointment, with a specialist who has so far at least, really proven himself to have my best interests in the forefront of his mind. At our very first appointment, I basically laid out how I've been taken advantage of by not only an extremely covertly psychologically abusive mother, but also by mental health "professionals" that matter of factually have acted in negligent and incompetent ways, for over 20 years.

I now realise that every mental health specialist that I've seen throughout those twenty years or so, all of them broke the The Royal Australian and
New Zealand College of Psychiatrists "Code of Ethics"; principals 1, 2, 3, and 10, and one even broke principal number 6. All of them, bar my current Clinical Psychologist and ironically, a public health system practicing Psychiatrist a couple of years ago who was threatened with potential legal action if any of my trauma was minimalised or that any attempt was made to water down any appropriate diagnosis after hearing about my symptoms on presentation, because I was sick of the Australian mental health system stuffing me around, that someone was finally able to help me to start to see why my entire life had been such a dumpster fire seemingly no matter how hard I tried to make something of myself. She diagnosed me with cPTSD.

Since the age of 18, I've lost count of the number of Psychiatrists that I've gone to at different junctures in my life, to try and get answers for why I've struggled so much throughout my life. I've also seen several Psychologists.

In October of 2006, I had a public health system Psychiatrist diagnose me with bipolar disorder, less than three weeks after my older brother had just un-alived himself. On the first appointment, and not even 30 minutes after meeting me, then saying that I would need to start taking a mood stabilising medication straight away. Talk about gross negligence and incompetence; attempting to diagnose such a serious condition that immediately followed such a traumatic event, whilst basically not knowing me from a bar of soap. Sadly, this is just one example of "care", provided by Australia's public health system that I've been unfortunate enough to experience over the past 20 years.

Coming back to the present, I recently said to my Clinical Psychologist that I think that I might have ADHD and possibly ASD (it's highly offensive to me that the powers that be, can get away with labeling anyone on the Autism Spectrum, as having a disorder, simply for being neurodivergent. It'd be like calling Down Syndrome a disorder). I said that there's no way that my struggles could be attributed to only cPTSD, that I've struggled far to much throughout my life for it to be only attributed to cPTSD. Under his suggestion, I found a Psychiatrist who from all the patient reviews, I actually trust will perform a fair and accurate assessment for ADHD and ASD, in April so not too far away luckily.

I said to my Clinical Psychologist that I feared that my assessment could be unfairly judged due to some sporadic periods of addictive behaviours in my life. I said that I wanted to have as much information to present to the Psychiatrist in April, and that I would like to be pre-screened for both ADHD and ASD, to if not confirm that I could be both which I had started to suspect that I was, at least to rule them out. I was therefore sent a number of assessment questionnaires to which I had no idea which diagnosis they would be pertaining to, and filled them out. When I had my next appointment, I was advised at the end of the appointment that the results had come back, and that they suggested that it is likely that I could in fact have ADHD and ASD (as well as cPTSD).

Over the past 20 years of seeking answers for why I've struggled so much, I've had professionals suggest that I could be everything from Schizo-effective, to Bipolar, BPD, to Drug-Induced Personality disorder whatever that is. Most Psychiatrists have believed that I have Bipolar, simply because I mentioned that I wondered if I had it but that I wasn't sure due to my symptoms not exactly fitting even into that pigeon-hole. out of these plethora of specialists, numbering at least 7-10 how many of them bothered to undertake a pre-screening diagnostic questionnaire for Bipolar? Not one of them. From either the public health system or the private health system aka medicare rebated appointments.

To say that this newfound information has come as shock to me, would be an understatement. That and the realisation that the mental health system professionals who were meant to be administering quality patient care, have been so incompetent as well as often negligent, as well as having to process and grieve the loss of who I'd through denial, convinced myself that my abusive mother was, that I've had to extricate completely from my life. It's pretty hard to prove such a thing, but I have no doubt in my mind that she tried to goad me to commit suicide and was very nearly successful in becoming a martyr to two dead sons because sadly, she's got nothing else going for her. Not one authentic bone in her body. these words are not emotively-motivated but sadly, factually accurate in my opinon. my father is slowly coming around to just how covertly abusive that she is, she even used my serious suicide attempt as a weapon to psychologically abuse my father.

I'm having so many realisations since this new found preemptive diagnostic information, that my life is finally actually starting to make some sense to me. Why I think and behave so differently to most. I'm so overcome, that when I called to speak to a counselor on your drop in free counseling service, that the poor person on the other end of the line did her best and she should absolutely be commended for her level of expertise, but after an hour of hearing about my circumstances the call was suddenly disconnected, I assume because she'd reached saturation point and didn't have the experience to be able to deal with a clearly over-stimuated/traumatised person on the other end of the phone. I really felt for her after I realised this, a few moments after the call was disconnected.

It was extremely embarrassing for me, but I woke this morning with a clearer head and the knowledge that it isn't my fault that I'm overwhelmed with everything (even though I'm making a lot of progress at this time), that I'm only human and that hopefully she would have someone to debrief with over what would've been a very difficult phone call for her to be a part of.

When it comes to misdiagnosis and/or incompetence/negligence in our public health system, can anyone relate to this post?

(I've also realised that speaking to SANE counsellors is just too over-stimulating for me at this time. It appears that both I and SANE employees/volunteers will all be better off if I keep my reaching out in the written form. I don't want a repeat of last night happening again).

36 replies

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In response to: Against the odds.

Re: Against the odds.

I also identify as neurodivergent or aspie @Upndownnupndown Good Luck with it all.

In response to: Against the odds.

Re: Against the odds.

@justanotherguy

Your first contribution on this community forum shares some important similarities with my first contribution. Given this, I've found your first interaction with my thread tonight to be quite concerning.

The first thing you did was to tag in other peer support workers at the commencement of your reply, instead of just replying to me and if you felt the need to for whatever reason, maybe if you felt that they could maybe add anything further to your contribution, to tag them in at the bottom of the post.

I'd like to clarify some things for you because you appear to have gotten the wrong end of the stick. these are your words:

"Getting angry over the phone is hard for support staff"

These were my words, taken from my my first post:

"I'm so overcome, that when I called to speak to a counselor on your drop in free counseling service, that the poor person on the other end of the line did her best and she should absolutely be commended for her level of expertise, but after an hour of hearing about my circumstances the call was suddenly disconnected, I assume because she'd reached saturation point and didn't have the experience to be able to deal with a clearly over-stimuated/traumatised person on the other end of the phone. I really felt for her after I realised this, a few moments after the call was disconnected."

I have no idea how from that you deduced that I acted angrily towards peer staff over the phone. I've made two calls to the peer staff over the past month or so, and not again since I realised that they were both therapeutically unstructured and for someone who pre-screenings have suggested that I'm on the Autism Spectrum and whom has a had very large amount of trauma accumulated across the span of my life, beginning since early childhood, some of which the mental health field, both public and private have had a consistent hand in (until the past couple of years), I decided that it wasn't safe for me to do so again.

I've been appreciative of the higher level of care afforded me a couple of years ago when I needed it during an acute inpatient admission of a public hospital of around a week, but having accumulative trauma at the hand of the public and private sector of mental health for 20+ years, isn't my fault and as anyone else would, have a right to own my story.

I've tried to be respectful of the users on this forum and therefore have not put into specific detail, the many such traumatic experiences with the mental health system both public and private because it would be very traumatising for anyone to have to read, as well as to then have to moderate the worst of it out.

Given that you know nothing about my life other than attempting to read between the lines of a couple of contributions on this forum, It just isn't appropriate for you to comment on the therapeutic process between the peer support staff and I, especially when A) you're a contributor and not a peer support worker, and B) you weren't privy to either of the two calls.

I find it quite concerning that someone with two weeks on this forum, is now a senior contributor and contributing in the way that you've done so tonight.

furthermore, I said what I felt regarding feeling being ignored following my first contribution and this hurt was acknowledged so no harm done there, but my feelings were valid as another contributor stated. my feedback may have been unpleasant, but it wouldn't have been any easier to read, than it was for me to write.

I wish to clarify something else that you seem to have gotten the wrong end of the stick over. These are your words:


"It's sad that many psychiatrists are only really trained to diagnose what they see and make little allowance for delayed or cumulative trauma (if they are even a thing)"

I'm not sure how this passage relates to my circumstances considering that over the past 20+ years as I've already expressed in words, most Psychiatrists have diagnosed me with Bipolar Disorder simply because I mentioned it and wondered if I could be Bipolar, and then the rest of them chose to follow suit when I'd mentioned that I still wondered if I had Bipolar Disorder, but still had my reservations.

I was never diagnosed based on what had been seen, nor on hearing about delayed/accumulative trauma (until only a couple of years ago, and of which has been the only first right step in the diagnostic assessment process so far in these 20+ years).

Considering your first contribution on this site, I don't understand why you've chosen to take out of context my contributions and downplay my need for ongoing support. I'm referring to your words again here:

"Some people have genuine life-long mental problems and need the ongoing care of a supportive peer workers, while your case sounds like a terrible case of mis-diagnosis or just laziness from the system"

Please leave the peer support to the peer support workers. I'm trying to move forwards with my life and have made the choice to engage with other community members on this forum as well as peer support staff whilst sharing a slither of my story, and downplaying another new contributor's need for support is completely innapropriate.

Edit: I missed this but again would like to clarify. Your words:

"I'm sorry your mother was not very emotional towards you, it must be a hard thing to realise"

This doesn't scratch the surface of her psychological abuse. It wasn't so much a case of her not being able to meet my emotional needs, but of her actively setting out to use my healthy need for emotional validation as any child would, to condition and psychologically abuse me.

In response to: Re: Against the odds.

Re: Against the odds.

@AppleblossomThank you. Fingers crossed that it doesn't end up being just another mirage in a otherwise desolate landscape of hope.

In response to: Re: Against the odds.

Re: Against the odds.

Hi @Upndownnupndown ,

Thank you for sharing what has worked and not worked for you on the forums in terms of a recent post.

Sometimes, text-based messaging can prove challenging. I cannot speak for @justanotherguy , but if you have any further concerns, please email us on team@saneforums.org

Kindest, tyme

In response to: Re: Against the odds.

Re: Against the odds.

@tyme

Thank you for your hasty reply. I've done so already for obvious reasons but really do appreciate your contribution. It takes courage to own one's truth as I've attempted to do from my very first contribution and have been happy to own my mistakes as I've done so on this forum thus far.

In response to: Against the odds.

Re: Against the odds.

@Former-Member

Thank you for your reply. I acknowledge that the public mental health system may have helped a lot of people, but unfortunately I can't share that same recollection (until about 2 years ago, and that was after making it clear that I wasn't going to be mucked around and further traumatised by the system any longer). If my late brother was here to tell his story, he probably wouldn't either.

I wish I had a more positive story to share about my experiences in the mental health system (and dealing with the system over the past 20 years), but at least I've spared everyone the litany of detailed recounts.

I do look forward to putting this horrible 20+ year chapter of misdiagnosis behind me, asap. No one is immune from making mistakes, least not me and I've made many over the span of my life thus far.

I will apologise for some of my content potentially being confronting to other readers and SANE staff, but be that as it may, I've chosen not to minimalise the trauma afforded me by the mental health sector until around two years ago, and I wouldn't expect anyone else on this forum to feel the need to either.

I look forward to sharing the positives around the Governmental supports which have been supporting me for the past 1.5 years now to access programs in the community for people with complex mental health needs, and at a crucial time I will add, as soon as I'm in a more stable place. It has been having a hand in restoring my faith in the system as well as towards society in general, which has also been taking place within the past couple of years. I'm not a bitter person by nature, far from it. It's taken a lot of trauma, incompetence and the challenges of being undiagnosed and with a range of symptoms on the daily, for me to regress to the point that I did over the past 20 years, as well as making the choice to use what I knew were problematic maladaptive coping mechanisms at times, such as substance use, due to an absence of any more dependable tools (until I found the right therapist, online support groups and community support services etc).

It's not all bad news to report! hopefully after this assessment in a little under two months, I can finally find a way to lay the past to rest and start focusing on the future and how to make good of my life experience in the form of contributing meaningfully towards society. I've been advised that I'm going though a grieving period for many things and that this painful process is just going to take some time.

This is also why I've largely stayed off the forums and not used the thread as a regular blog. It wouldn't be fair to use it for such purposes. Thank you for your reply earlier, apologies for it not containing this more recent and very positive content earlier, I wish that it had.

In response to: Against the odds.

Re: Against the odds.

@NatureLover

Apologies, I just saw this reply and yes, my Clinical Psychologist has started to validate my formative trauma but to be honest, it's been very hard to open up about it because not only is there an overwhelming amount to go though, I don't really know where to start because I've been disassociating for as long as I can remember due to it all, but I'll get there in time. The most important thing is having the right person for the task and that goal has been achieved, as well as obviously having so many other supportive structures in my life now, structures in place due Governmental policy in this area. I wish that I found these community-based support structures with regular activities held and access to a facilitator who fortunately is exceedingly knowledgeable in mental health, years earlier, but better late than never I guess! Not partaking in maladaptive coping mechanisms is also a big part of learning new ways to self-regulate stimuli/emotion levels.

In response to: Re: Against the odds.

Re: Against the odds.

Hi @Upndownnupndown

I've been very frustrated at the mental health service for nearly 20 years also so I can understand some of what you are saying. The range of emotive adjectives like 'incompetent', 'maladaptive' and all the others definitely suggest a level of frustration and anger, and I can only suppose your phone conversations would have used similar language. Personally I have found commenting on this forum very therapeutic and helpful, the other contributors have their own life stories and probably all started out in similar position to you and me, ie. as patients in a system looking for better answers. I think when you berated them for not responding in a time frame you thought acceptable was pretty harsh, I don't think forums are designed to be an urgent response mechanism unless self harm is evident or other urgent distress. I was upset with my treatment inside the mental health system and have contacted the mental health complaints forum in my state, it was only after that that I came to this forum to try to find better answers. As stated, I don't think it's the job of Sane to 'fix' the mental health system but I'm sure everything that you've said is listened to. If you're getting help in the community that's great! I wish we could all be so lucky.

In response to: Re: Against the odds.

Re: Against the odds.

Hi @justanotherguy

Not that I need to justify myself any further, but for the purposes of trying to act in good faith, I'll do so once more.

"The range of emotive adjectives like 'incompetent', 'maladaptive' and all the others definitely suggest a level of frustration and anger, and I can only suppose your phone conversations would have used similar language."

I'm sorry to be the one to have to say it, but it's not your place to micromanage past telephonic interactions between me and this service. I attempted to set that healthy boundary last night to which has unfortunately been missed. I established that I'd been a bit harsh in my feedback 2 weeks ago and apologised for it the following morning.

I'm sorry, but I do not accept that I was unreasonable to speak up about waiting patiently for, yet not receiving any sort of reply from a peer support worker to that initial post that was posted in the morning, by late that evening. It was written in a state of distress, and I was desperately seeking some support.

"I don't think it's the job of Sane to 'fix' the mental health system"

you mentioned this in your comment to me last night, now again this morning. I'm not sure how you've come to the conclusion that I expect SANE to fix the mental health system. I feel that the current issues come from systemic origins as they always have, but I'm not going to offer any further comment on that topic, on these forums.

In response to: Against the odds.

Re: Against the odds.

@scout1572

Your reply put a smile on my face this morning. I made sure to reply properly to you this morning, apologies for it taking so long to do so.

I can really empathise with your sentiment of communication being challenging at times. It is for myself as well.

"Dont beat yourself up. I'm not perfect, the people you speak with are not perfect... and sadly, regardless of roles, people can get triggered and react to things they should really let slide. Human nature i guess. Has been my experience."

absolutely. I accepted that my feedback would have been confronting and I didn't enjoy writing it. at the time, I was still in an-overstimulated state and I've learnt from that experience. I have no expectations anymore on how responsive this forum should be. If I require support quickly, there are other options that I can utilise fortunately.

"So i can be VERY intense, and coupled with the ability to speak quickly and quite loudly, has caused me nothing but drama as mu health declines."

I can also relate to this. I can also be very intense at times. I don't often raise my voice but certainly in trying to feel validated, I can be very intense and this is something that I'm working on addressing. I'm sorry to hear that your health is declining. Not sure if you're referring to your mental health or physical health, but my mental health in some ways is better than it's ever been, but in other ways, it's also declined. My concentration span has decreased, in spite of not using maladaptive coping mechanisms to deal with my symptoms anymore, such as using substance. This has been quite concerning for me, but I'm hopeful that with some appropriate diagnosis and medication, as well as returning to the workforce hopefully by the start of June latest, that it will improve.

"I have no solution to this other than, like yourself to have some self awareness... and i know to not do things when i feel my capacity to remain calm is impacted."

This is something that I need to keep working on. I wish I'd received the pre-screening results for ASD, 20+ years ago instead of about 5 weeks ago, but it is what it is.

"Just wanted to share some of my experiences and let you know i feel your pain. Sometimes better out than in is good in regards to feelings... but choosing your moments and environment can be helpful."

I appreciate you taking the time to convey what you are doing to be better at communication and it sounds like you're doing great. I need to work on the areas that you've shared with me and I appreciate the solidarity around this stuff, because it really is a challenge for me as well when I get over-stimulated or triggered.

You are very kind and visa versa, if you feel the need to speak to someone who also struggles with some similar symptoms at times, you're welcome to tag me into a comment of yours. I'm not always overstimulated, it's just been a very challenging couple of months for me 😉

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