I dont know what to call it.

Hey @ClockFace I'm so sorry to hear that you have so much on your plate right now - I'm not surprised you're feeling so immensely overwhelmed. We're concerned about how much this is impacting you, so we're going to send a little email check in just to see where you're at. Keep an eye out.

@ClockFace

Electricity from magnetic pole variations and frequencies [both manmade and natural] go against our head.

We shape these into the subconscious.

The sub, as opposed to dom.

The con, as opposed to pro

The 'suss' as opposed to sense.

They are inherently against us but we shape it as it is.

Everyone has this, not just you.

You just notice it more.

It has always been a shadow over things.

But when you notice it more you will part the shadow.

Pierce through them.

It can never be with, only an interruption.

That's all they are.

Learn to hate the subconsuss and part the shadow.

Oh my gosh, @ClockFace , you're an absolute hero! It's incredible what you're carrying 😮 and I'm so sorry to hear. 😞

I did have one thought: can you just be on the end of a phone for your sister and her doctors for a bit? Not visit her, I mean, but still be involved in her treatment. You need to look after yourself. That way you could spend the petrol money on food...

Sending good wishes for your situation...

A handy forum tip is if you type @ and then click on a name in the drop-down box, that person will get a notification and won't miss your reply.

Hi @ClockFace

i am sorry you are going through all of this very much alone - that's huge for anyone and you have your own health issues as well. I really care about that.

Really - I have no idea about where you can turn for help about this - except My Aged Care for your parents if they are elderly - I don't know which state you are in or where to apply - a doctor would know.

If they are not old enough then there is the NDIS - I am pretty ignorant about this system - again a doctor would know. I wish I could help more - one thing I do know is that you need the help to manage all of this. Managing alone has to be and obviously is exhausting and draining you of everything.

Self-care is most important - we all need to care for ourselves first so we can help other people - it's not at all selfish. Going without food yourself to pay for petrol to help your family is a terrible choice for you - I understand - and there are places like the Citizen's Advice Bureau who may be able to assist you with food vouchers. It's not begging to ask for help when you are already doing so much to help others.

I am thinking of you and hoping you can find some help. Yes - it sounds as if you have to do more to get help than you already are doing and that is far too much.

Sending my best thoughts

Owlunar.

Hi @ClockFace,

I just finished reading your post - I am sorry to read how hard things are for your family, particularly your sister and of course you. It sounds like you have so much going on at the moment, whilst also trying to manage your own struggles. You sound like an amazing sibling and your sister is lucky to have someone that cares so much.

Whilst I really understand that you want to help and support your sister I hope you are also taking care of yourself too. You also need to prioritise your own physical and mental health.

I understand it is hard but your sister is in a safe place and being taken care of by professionals so I hope that brings you some comfort and perhaps a bit of (self) permission to not do so much for your sister in terms of visiting. Could you perhaps speak to each other on the phone, Facetime, etc so that you can still support her but also relieve yourself from so much physical stress.

As someone that is an emotional carer for a close family member with a serious mental health issue I understand somewhat the pressures and the rollercoaster ride it can be. What I have learned from this lived experience is do what you can but know your limits, know when you need to prioritise yourself first and recognise that that isn't selfish - it's actually imperative for your wellbeing. When my family member was in hospital it was almost a bit of relief for me because I knew they were in a professional setting with 24/7 care. At the end of day carers (despite wanting to fix everything) we can only do so much, be so much, help so much.

I would really encourage you to seek support for yourself at this very hard time. I have attached a few links to resources for carers that may be able to help:

- Carers Australia

- Carer Gateway

- Families and Carers

You may also want to contact your local community centre to see if they are able to help in some way (e.g. transport service for hospital visits).

I wish you and your sister all the best and I really hope things ease up for you both very soon.
Please take care of yourself and remember `you can't drink from an empty cup'.

Warm wishes,

FloatingFeather

I expected that I would get some pay but nothing. So I am without income for the next few weeks. I told my Dad and the subject was changed. Told my sister and wasnt even acknowledged, no point telling my Mum she wont help. I have no idea how I am going to afford my bills let alone pay for fuel etc to see my sister.

I decided to take today off from visiting her, she not happy about it. She wanted a heap of stuff brought in, clothes etc. I bring in stuff pretty much every day so I have no idea why we need to bring in even more. Cardigans and Oodies etc. its hot, why does she need them.

Im probably going to call the help line thing today, try and get some self care in. Its funny a day off doesnt really mean sit and watch TV etc. The house is at least clean this time so I dont have to worry about that, but Ill call SANE, Ive already called the hospital for a doctor to call me back to discuss whats going on, Ill have to help my Mum, probably have the puppy for a while, got to look after the green house. If Im really lucky Ill get a nap this afternoon but I doubt it.

I dont think my sister/Mum/Dad appreciate how much this situation has cost me, financially or mentally. There is little step up by either my Mum or Dad to help in any manner. My sister just wants stuff, me to be there, etc and gets grumpy when it doesnt happen. Ive put my life on hold, and no matter what is said or done I would do so again but a little I dunno help/appreciation/understanding wouldnt go astray.