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Piecing the shattered glass together

creative_writerSenior Contributor02 Feb 2023, 8:35 pm AEDT

Piecing the shattered glass together

I decided to start a new thread, my new chapter in my life is going to focus on healing my traumas, building resilience and self-worth and taking the steps of achieving mood stability. I am praying this year will be better than the last. Last year the SI got really intense, was so close to losing hope and I felt like my heart was breaking into a million pieces like shattered glass. It all still feels overwhelming, I have a long way to go on my healing journey, but I think I'm starting to feel a bit more hopeful about the future.

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In response to: Piecing the shattered glass together

creative_writerSenior Contributor27 Mar 2023, 5:21 pm AEDT

Re: Piecing the shattered glass together

@FloatingFeather, lived experience is a heavy price to pay 😢. I feel so flat out today, like I have no energy, lightheaded and migrainey. This rainy weather isn’t helping me feel any better, I feel like my brain is producing too much melatonin, it feels like nap time.

In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together

creative_writerSenior Contributor27 Mar 2023, 6:46 pm AEDT

Re: Piecing the shattered glass together

I don't feel like going to my online class today, I don't want to be triggered 😞 , don't need to be reminded of my brokenness. I'm too scared to say anything, I know my tutor and the unit coordinator are really sweet and lovely but I haven't coped well over the weekend. Body flashbacks are gruesome. I need to feel more stable, I am even hoping to do placement this year.

In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together

PaperdaisySenior Contributor27 Mar 2023, 6:55 pm AEDT

Re: Piecing the shattered glass together

I hope you can do something nice for yourself tonight instead @creative_writer Please take care

In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together

creative_writerSenior Contributor28 Mar 2023, 5:42 pm AEDT

Re: Piecing the shattered glass together

I had a pdoc appointment today. The pdoc didn’t want to change my meds too much and said I could increase one of my meds if I wanted to. I feel torn. It may help. But then there is increased risk of side effects in my small body. There is also the cost since it’s a private med too. I feel so confused.

In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together

creative_writerSenior Contributor28 Mar 2023, 6:23 pm AEDT

Re: Piecing the shattered glass together

Just when I thought the day couldn’t get worse, it does. Didn’t do so well in my last assignment. It is well below my usual standards. I know it might sounds like an overreaction to a lot of people. I feel like I fail if I don’t get the highest grade possible. I guess I’m not good enough.

In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together

JynxModerator28 Mar 2023, 6:34 pm AEDT

Re: Piecing the shattered glass together

Aww @creative_writer that is so rough. It sounds like you hold yourself to a pretty high standard, which isn't necessarily a bad thing - it can push us to go beyond our comfort zone and really strive for our goals. I think the pitfall is that sometimes we then might attach our sense of self-worth to our achievements, and thus feel pretty awful if we don't reach the goals we set.

Can you think of something you are proud of? Like maybe reflect on what you have learned from the assignment, which parts of it you feel were really good, or something like that.

In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together

creative_writerSenior Contributor28 Mar 2023, 6:48 pm AEDT

Re: Piecing the shattered glass together

@Jynx, I suppose not all of it is awful, there were areas I performed better in. I feel like I have to be perfect at everything in order to be good enough or loveable. By being perfect I make up for the other aspects that I can’t control like my MH, chronic migraines and trauma history. I feel like I need to work harder to prove myself because I have so much baggage.

In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together

creative_writerSenior Contributor29 Mar 2023, 7:46 pm AEDT

Re: Piecing the shattered glass together

I need a hug really badly. My heart is crying 😞

In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together

creative_writerSenior Contributor30 Mar 2023, 2:31 pm AEDT

Re: Piecing the shattered glass together

I don’t know why I’m still in the library if I’m not studying.

In response to: Re: Piecing the shattered glass together

creative_writerSenior Contributor30 Mar 2023, 2:44 pm AEDT

Re: Piecing the shattered glass together

SANE’s chat service is offline 😢. I can’t make phone calls while I’m out. I want to go home but my sister’s class finishes in an hour and a half.

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Aboriginal flag

Torres Strait Islander flag

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.