Super Stirred Up

Monday night I found out that a friend of mine had passed on the 18 Jan. He wasn't even forty yet and details are scarce. I've known him for 30 years and grew up with his sister and him as well as their family and a lot of their friends. You're not supposed to be having to say goodbye to your friends at my age... I'm 42 this year... It's not meant to be a reality until much later in life. Reading between the lines, all sorts of conclusions come to mind but none are helpful.

My own mental health is rather crap...even without knowing of a prominent figure in my life currently on extended indefinite psyc leave. It's triggering for me too and really brings home that mental illness strikes down even the most fervent Christians. (not opening that can of worms here)

I have spent all day expressing deep emotion and crying on and off...pretty much since Monday. Just when I thought I was done, off we go again. I'm now getting a headache from stress. I don't know where to turn but I have to say reaching out to church as well as the mental health support hub I attend has been helpful. But they're not always around.

Oh and another older friend at church had a stroke after a service at church on Sunday. I wasn't there, thankfully. My thoughts are also with him and his wife. He does heaps for our church, you could say he almost runs it!

Anyway...I've dumped now. Unsure where to go but I'm not in a good place, I can assure you. I believe I'm "Safe" though and yes I know the numbers etc. and yes I will use if necessary.

Sorry....