jaysketteContributor
Who has mental illness and is also a carer
Hi everyone. Who has mental illness and is also a carer for someone with mental illness? How the heck do you cope? Thanks.
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Who has mental illness and is also a carer
11 replies
In response to: Who has mental illness and is also a carer
Unknown userMember
Re: Who has mental illness and is also a carer
Hi @jayskette,
Such a great question and it would be great to know what other people to do to cope!
It sounds from your post that you have not been coping too well with trying to support your loved one while also managing your own mental illness. What sorts of things have you been doing to try and cope?
In response to: Who has mental illness and is also a carer
Bimby2Senior Contributor
Looking after ourselves
I was a carer for a close relation who had a mental illness and I also suffer with depression/anxiety. I think talking things out and agreeing to mutually support each other goes a long way in caring for each other. Communicating with each other is vitally important and being there to comfort in the down times does really help. Hope this gives help to those needing each other's support with the challenges mental health well being can bring. Best wishes to each forum member. Bimby2
In response to: Looking after ourselves
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Re: Looking after ourselves
A lot depends on the particular blind spots in each party and whether it is a peer to peer relationship or parental.
In response to: Re: Looking after ourselves
pipSenior Contributor
Re: Looking after ourselves
I feel that carers and sufferers both need care. The carers burn out from lack of support, the sufferers often feel left out of things because of the inability to cope. If the carer has anxiety issues/depression and cares for a MI sufferer, who is there for both of them. The carer needs de-briefing to continue supporting the person with the illness.
In response to: Who has mental illness and is also a carer
Shaz51Senior Contributor
Re: Who has mental illness and is also a carer
Hello @jayskette
that is a good question
How are you today ?
In response to: Who has mental illness and is also a carer
jaysketteContributor
Re: Who has mental illness and is also a carer
my sister who has schizoaffective bipolar anxiety etc is in hospital again. my mum is in hospital with her and cant cope and need to cancel her intended overseas trip to look after grandma. grandma is anxious not hearing from sister and calls them nonstop. i live interstate and was supposed to come visit next week to take mum to airport and receive grandma from airport. im running out of leave and most likely will take leave to look after all 3. dad who has schizoaffective social withdrawal etc etc dont care, he has the social skills of a teenager. meanwhile my current work is plunging me into the deepest anxiety and depression ever. my husband who has bipolar and anxiety has a few shifts at work so it looks like his situation is on the up but im scared the casual nature of it will cause him to lose routine and therefore make his MI worse. im the only one that isnt so severely affected by my MI but i feel the pressure to keep everyone relatively mentally healthy and being the breadwinner with mortgage i can sense my MI going down. sigh. thanks for reading that far.
In response to: Who has mental illness and is also a carer
KJWCasual Contributor
Re: Who has mental illness and is also a carer
Often I don't cope and I get tired of pretending to cope or stuffing my own stuff down. It is mighty tough when it forces itself to the surface and demands to be dealt with. Today has been the third day straight in bed dealing with IBS, CFS flair up and other stuff tied in with my own mental health issues. I hate it when my BPD daughter starts copying my symptoms or trying too, as a way of demanding attention. I get really irritated by that. It's like I can't even deal with my own stuff in peace.
In response to: Who has mental illness and is also a carer
KJWCasual Contributor
Re: Who has mental illness and is also a carer
Book all of you into a nunary or respite facility for rest and make sure yours is a different one to the rest of them!
In response to: Re: Who has mental illness and is also a carer
Unknown userMember
Re: Who has mental illness and is also a carer
hello @jayskette @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope
I have just found your post and cannot begin to imagine how you are feeling.
The pressure on you is tremendous.
Have you had any responses?
Just wondering if a couple of other carers might be able to help you.
If I have got this wrong and have responded incorrectly I apologise in advance. I am not doing too well at the moment.
I did not want you to feel that noone cared though.
I hope you have some assistance already as this was a couple of months ago.
In response to: Re: Who has mental illness and is also a carer
SmcSenior Contributor
Re: Who has mental illness and is also a carer
I'm not officially a "full time carer" anymore but as well as being on call for our adult daughter, I'm trying to get my parent's affairs and "worldy goods" in order, now that they're in aged care, and trying to support the rest of my family under high stress circumstances. The parents live a long way from here, so I'm travelling up to their end and staying for a week once every 4-6 weeks, which is a lot of extra strain.
I see a psychologist regularly myself as backup, but I'm finding that over time I'm really wearing down. I'm sleeping badly most nights, depressed, sometimes anxiety kicks in too. The housework is the first thing that shows the struggle. We can live in a messy house as long as the pots and plates are clean, and the food on them is healthy, but it's a bit of a nasty, self feeding situation. Messy house = hard to find things and do things = extra anxiety and depression = difficult and depressing to tackle messy house...
The trips to help my parents are getting harder to do all the time. I get very knotted up about doing the packing and end up doing it all at the last minute. This isn't helped by the fact that youngest in the family and husband are missing me badly while I'm away (it's mutual...) and sometimes the older daughter has had a significant crisis point shortly before I've been due to leave. It's hard going away not knowing whether she'll be safe while I'm gone.
Our youngest has recently started seeing a psychologist too. Thankfully, she has generally good mental health, but she's under a lot of strain and we figured being proactive about getting extra support for her was better than trying to pick up the pieces when it eventually got too much to cope with.
Ironically, because I'm not "full time" in any of these multiple caring roles, I don't qualify as a carer for government purposes. I do qualify for Newstart with a job search exemption due to being too mentally unwell to look for a job... not that I've got time to do one anyway?
