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Inattentive ADHD & BPD

GRiMMiCKCasual Contributor24 Jan 2023, 4:41 pm AEDT

Inattentive ADHD & BPD

Hello, this is my first time on anything like this, however it has proven to be extremely difficult to find anyone like me.

I have recently been diagnosed with Inattentive ADHD, my previous diagnosis had been BPD, Schizophrenic Tendencies, Generalised Anxiety and Dysthymia (Chronic Depression).

Ok so I struggle with everyday life and I tend to screw up anything and everything I touch. Let's go back a little, I have been in 26 different primary schools and lived in over 50 "homes", (I am 32 now), I have gone through many..... many relationships and jobs. When everything is going good I WILL self destruct and destroy everything around me, I then simply move on to rinse and repeat. I feel incredibly lost in life, no real passion (besides apocalyptic scenarios) no real goals, and no real direction besides the direction of others (although are logical hobbies and directions for me).

I am extremely up and down in emotion very rapidly, up until recently I had been spending my days pacing in circles in deep thoughts and generally in fantasy land.

I would agree to do things and really want to do things but always fail to even start (still doing it, I just don't commit to anything anymore).

Everything is a gargantuan effort and even then my mind is spirraling out of control.

I am currently in a situation of taking new medication, the docs say it'll take a month to get worse before it starts getting better though I am working away from home with my father (fantastic support) but every night/day I impulsively want to get in my car and drive home, essentially running away like I always do, I can see he is trying really hard to understand but I know it is a disappointment. My wife is extremely supportive aswell however it is taxing on her aswell. I feel like a burden and I don't know how long I can keep doing this.

There is so much more I want to explain but I am exhausted, I have explained this all before to professionals though I never get out the full story, I thought id start with that for now. Thank you for reading if you got this far.

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In response to: Inattentive ADHD & BPD

justanotherguySenior Contributor25 Feb 2023, 9:15 pm AEDT

Re: Inattentive ADHD & BPD

Hi @GRiMMiCK ,

It's not good to be so hard on yourself, getting the help you need should not feel like a burden, mental illness is rarely the fault of the sufferer. You mentioned pacing in circles, I have done that for years as it was the only way I could cope with the anxiety attacks from my medication. I have also struggled for years with self-sabotage but I could never work out why. Reading about BPD has finally helped me to understand some of the possible causes of my problems and now I feel like I can start working on the solutions. I hope you can get some help and support as any mental illness can be a difficult thing to work with.

@Former-Member @Appleblossom

In response to: Re: Inattentive ADHD & BPD

AppleblossomSenior Contributor27 Feb 2023, 9:28 am AEDT

Re: Inattentive ADHD & BPD

Thanks for tag @justanotherguy

Welcome @AstiiBriggs

Hey @GRiMMiCK

I have done the pacing thing, it is a pretty normal response to stress. In my house I cannot do circles tho ... lol ... so its down a narrow passage from one end to the other.

I have a tendency to normalise things, though I do know some things are extreme and do not want to seem undervalue any sharing on here. Gaining DBT skills of emotion regulation will be helpful I am sure. You are putting in lots of emotion work as well as practical work. That is GREAT! Its also great your family is so practical.

We are having a plumbing emergency atm. Wanna come to my place! ha ha! Joke.

In all seriousness, I cannot say how the meds are effecting you, and I can only send my best wishes that you cut yourself some slack, as your system is dealing with double or triple whammies, adjusting to meds and dealing with your issues.

I was really struck by the number of house moves you have dealt with. That is hard. I went through a lot of moves myself, but not that many. It slowed down as I aged.

Just saying hello

Take Care Apple

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