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Quitting work and feeling like a failure - SOS? TW suicidal ideation

Quitting work and feeling like a failure - SOS? TW suicidal ideation

Hey all. Two things on my mind I desperately need to get off it. I’ll start with the shortest - and most random.

1. My OCD has convinced me the bubble tea I’m drinking has been poisoned and now I’m struggling to get it down. Any advice on calming my mind down - and also continuing to drink the drink?

2. I quit my job last week due to both mental and physical health (GAD/OCD/CPTSD, IBS and endometriosis - yippee) and just went to collect my things and return my uniform. They’ve been absolutely lovely about it, but I feel like a total failure. I’m in my mid 20s. We have paid the rent only through the sheer grace of God and generosity of husband’s parents. No savings because of my health and a number of other unfortunate circumstances. So embarrassing. I have a fear of being a dole bludger because in my family work is important and there’s a lot of honour in working… but I can’t. I’m not well enough. Seriously - I can barely push through the physical pain, constant anxiety and exhaustion to go and do things I enjoy. I’m trying to find work that I can do part time and from home, and I AM focused on building my editing skills (I have a degree in Media & Comms), but I’m so scared I’ll let my dad down. He’s always supportive but I know I’ll get the “this is all in your head, you are capable and you just need to believe you’re capable” speech (context: don’t come for my dad, he’s literally the most wonderful and supportive dad but he worries about me and wants me taken care of and independent). I’m slowly learning to be independent and have my boundaries. I still haven’t told him I quit - and I tell him everything. Other people my age are buying houses and having babies. And I’d love a baby - so, so much. But damn - with our current financial situation I’d be out of my mind. I’m trying - despite my circumstances - to be responsible, sensible and prudent. Social media is a nightmare so I don’t go on it otherwise I don’t sleep cause I just compare myself and then feel like a failure and then feel suicidal.

My husband has been really supportive but of course finance is hard as we’re both pursuing film and media, and if you’ve been there you’ll know getting government assistance is a pain in the neck. Oh gosh. Cost of living does not help. I need to eat good food due to my health, and yet I stand at the check out with groceries praying to God payment goes through.

Anyone else out there in a similar position? How have you detached your identity from being tied to work? How did you get out of a financial disaster with all this? I can’t see myself doing a full time office job. I just can’t. But it’s going to be a financial headache until at least one of us can get regular work in post production.

As a preface: I am SAFE, I have no active plan, I have a psychologist, use lifeline and my husband looks after me so I’m never really alone - but I do feel suicidal sometimes because of the weight of it all. It feels like there’s no way out that’s not going to demand of me what I can’t give. Again - I’m safe and I reach out for help when I need it. Just needed to get it off my chest.

Thanks

GraceUponGrace x

6 replies

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In response to: Quitting work and feeling like a failure - SOS? TW suicidal ideation

Re: Quitting work and feeling like a failure - SOS? TW suicidal ideation

Apparently, when your parents were maybe only a little younger than you are now, the government had had a long-standing policy of full employment, where the Commonwealth Employment Service would help any worker (read: white male breadwinner) find a good job that was genuinely suited to their skills. Up until that system broke down in the early 1970s, unemployment was apparently seen as a systems failure rather than the worker being lazy. (source: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-05-30/dole-bludger-emerged-in-the-1970s-to-serve-a-political-purpose/100174356 )

In response to: Re: Quitting work and feeling like a failure - SOS? TW suicidal ideation

Re: Quitting work and feeling like a failure - SOS? TW suicidal ideation

Wow. This is eye opening.

Many parents grew up outside of Australia and moved here as adults. But I can see how this effects my personal view of self as I (mostly) grew up here.

In response to: Re: Quitting work and feeling like a failure - SOS? TW suicidal ideation

Re: Quitting work and feeling like a failure - SOS? TW suicidal ideation

Wow. This is eye opening.

My parents grew up outside of Australia and moved here as adults. But I can see how this effects my personal view of self as I (mostly) grew up here.

In response to: Quitting work and feeling like a failure - SOS? TW suicidal ideation

Re: Quitting work and feeling like a failure - SOS? TW suicidal ideation

Hey @GraceUponGrace ,

thank you for sharing your story.

In terms of your ocd, I think it’s good that you have an awareness of the issue. I believe that’s the starting point to get help. Are you able to access therapy to help with your ocd?

As for work, since covid, many workplaces have a hybrid setup. There is such a huge number of vacancies out there. Do you think you could find something to suit your current needs? I have a family member who recruits participants for market research and all that work is done from home around the schedule of three under school age children. I asked them when they do their work, and they said they just send a few emails after the kids go to bed… Once in a while, they need to make a phone call.

Why I’m sharing this is because I know that Financial stress can certainly make one’s mental health suffer. For many, having a job gets them out of bed - me included. So much so, I see work as a productive factor which has kept me alive in many instances.

I read are trying to find suitable employment. I hope and pray it comes your way sooner rather than later.

in the meantime, I hope you get relief from the anguish of physical pain. Endometriosis is so painful.

In response to: Re: Quitting work and feeling like a failure - SOS? TW suicidal ideation

Re: Quitting work and feeling like a failure - SOS? TW suicidal ideation

I agree with @GraceUponGrace . That article is certainly an eye-opener and explains so much of how ones values are formed @Gwynn !

In response to: Re: Quitting work and feeling like a failure - SOS? TW suicidal ideation

Re: Quitting work and feeling like a failure - SOS? TW suicidal ideation

If your parents migrated here, they probably had to put their nose to the grindstone to get where they are now, which might explain the work ethic.

To blow your mind further, the other thing is that the full time 40 hour work week was always made on the assumption that there would be a full-time (24/7) homemaker taking care of the house and any kids.

If you wanted to find a side hustle that would build your skills for work, what would that look like? What about volunteering - what would give you transferrable skills?
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