(Tw: suicide) What are these thoughts in my mind?

Hey @Imnotsure Thank you for sharing your story. I think for me, with anxiety, repeating old patterns of what I 'should' do in response is common. I think consciously changing those thought patterns is still something I have to work on. Is there a reason you're scared to talk to professionals about it? Living with SI is an experience many people here have and talking with a professional might be a way of helping to make sense of it and keep you safe.

I'm also going to send you another thread here with some peer resources that may or may not be helpful.

Please take care and feel free to check in with us anytime 💝

hey @Imnotsure, thank you so much for sharing your story ❤️ I'm one of the peer workers on here. It's so nice to e-meet you!

It sounds like such a tricky time, so I hope we can offer you some care and support here.

I know for me, sometimes having a label/diagnosis can really help me to understand and explain what's going on in my brain. But sometimes I feel they can also be restrictive and change the way I talk about myself. To help me understand more, I'd love to hear a why finding a diagnosis for what's happening would help? ❤️

And we can't diagnose you on here or give professional advice, but we can share our own experiences ❤️

I know for myself and others that I've spoken to, what your describing sounds really similar to "distress tolerance". We have a discussion on that from a little while ago: Topic Tuesday // Distress Tolerance // Tues 17 July, 7pm AEDT . Distress Tolerance is how our body reacts to big feelings (like feeling anxious). When our bodies and brains feel there is no way to end or cope with these big feelings, our thoughts my go to a place of dying. Which SUCKS! The good news about Distress Tolerance, is that we can learn to build up our tolerance. Which means these thoughts can change!

I know for me when I was building up my distress tolerance, I found a lot of somatic strategies REALLY helpful. But we also have this thread here called Our coping toolbox 🧰 which has a bunch of strategies others use when they're feeling big feelings.

What do you think about that? Does this feel like something you would feel comfortable talking with a professional about?

@Imnotsure

There are physical electrical forces which exist around us, including our head.

They are always against our head and even though we shape them as they are against us, they are always bad.

Over the ages they are called;

the sub [as opposed to the dom]

the con [as opposed to the pro]

the 'suss' [as opposed to sense]

Learn to hate the subconsuss.

You cannot get rid of it as these forces will always exist against our head.