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loveconquersallNew Contributor
Hi everyone,
I have lost my identity and direction in my life. I have suffered through many traumas which have destroyed my sense of self and thus, I am 'lost' in my own life. I have forgotten what I am good at, what my dreams are, what my goals are, and who I really am.
I would love and appreciate advice as I am really struggling. 😭
In response to: Finding myself after many traumas
tonysSenior Contributor
Hello there.. May i say , first thing i noticed is, you are very good at writing. You got me in, in a handful of words. Words are a powerful things , Do it again, Its hard to open up but with every extra word, we get to know a little more about your hopes , dreams , fears.. and how we can be your friends, I'm a bit new at this, but most others in these forums have faced challenges in one form or another and will welcome and help you. Im just a farmer. I always say doing something, anything , will yield more than worry and fear of failure.
I admire your courage, ... reaching out,
keep fighting for answers with your letters in bottles. They will wash up on the right beach one day, and the tide will come back with the whole fleet.
Yours with all my best wishes. Tonys M b 1
In response to: Finding myself after many traumas
NatureLoverSenior Contributor
Hi and welcome, @loveconquersall , it's good to have you here.
I'm sorry to hear about your many traumas and your identity loss 😞
Something similar happened to me. I had to rebuild my life from scratch.
What I did was I started noticing things I liked, not things I had been told to like in the past. Even little things like certain colours, foods, etc. Also things I liked in life, such as reading and proofreading, things like that. I asked myself, what things gave me happiness, and always had maybe? Also things I had been told to like my whole life, and that I realised I actually didn't like. Also certain friends who actually dragged me down, etc. I acted on each little thing I realised. That way I started rebuilding myself slowly.
I am much happier now than I was in the first place. Much more the authentic 'me'.
The other thing that helped me was having a psychologist to talk things through with, and work through my traumas with. Do you have any professional support? Like a counsellor, meds, psychologist or psychiatrist?
If not, then the first step is to visit your GP and ask for a Mental Health Care Plan. This will entitle you to 10 subsidised sessions with a psychologist per year. The only thing is that psychologists are so overwhelmed with demand at the moment that it could take 6 months to get in to see one. But it's a good idea to get on the waiting list now.
You can help this process by googling then ringing round psychologists in your area to ask: are they taking new patients at the moment, what is the wait time for a new patient to start, what are the costs, etc. You can even ask if they are trauma-informed. Then you can take a name to your GP for the Mental Health Care Plan referral. (GPs might not know which psychologists are taking new patients and which have stopped as they are full.)
Good luck...
A handy forum tip is if you type @ and then click on a name in the drop-down box, that person will get a notification and won't miss your reply.
I hope you find the forums supportive.
In response to: Finding myself after many traumas
FloatingFeatherSenior Contributor
Hi @loveconquersall,
Welcome to the Forums. My name is FloatingFeather and I am one of the peer support workers at SANE. It sounds like you have been through a lot in your life and lost yourself in the process. I'm sorry this has happened to you and I really hope you are okay.
As I have gotten older I have realised that a sense of self and self worth can really only come from ourselves. Whilst it is lovely to be valued and validated by others who you are is ultimately inside of you. When you have a good sense of self you start to really believe in yourself and you will start to find the real you.
Maybe a way to help find yourself again is to go back to a time in your mind when your dreams and goals were part of who you were. Remind yourself off those dreams and goals and how that felt. Reflect on what you were good at and maybe have a go at doing what you were good at again (for example, if you were a good drawer maybe if you start drawing again some of those good feelings will come back). I think having dreams and goals is a key ingredient for finding hope and inspiration. I know what it is to feel lost and displaced but there is a flip side to - one that is a life of purpose, contentment, joy, etc.
It takes a while, especially if you have been broken by life but finding yourself and hope again is definitely doable. I wish you all the best.
Warm regards,
FloatingFeather
In response to: Finding myself after many traumas
David_888Senior Contributor
@loveconquersall
Self is you through what you are against.
Self is not you.
You are here and with.
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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