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TW: Simply Done.

SM-BPDCasual Contributor09 Jan 2023, 6:32 pm AEDT

TW: Simply Done.

So,

I've tried it all. Medication, I've tried over a dozen at least. I see it as a waste of money. $200 a month. I've had two new therapists within the last 3 months. One was absolutely crap. The one I'm waiting to see has the right education for bpd ppl. In the last 12 months I found out that my wife was cheating twice (same person just continued after I busted it open). We are now separated since May. Nothing's been resolved even though we are in therapy. I really just want to completely disassociate or split of whatever and not feel at all.

But I'm the only person in my household that works so I have to earn money.

I don't want to be here anymore. Yes as in gone, deceased etc. I have a science background and know what medications to use to stop organs etc. I'm ready for it. The only thing that stops me is if it doesn't work, I'm back here again with no family because it's not like she would stay around considering my bpd moods are a big problem in the marriage.

Yes, I am wanting to die. I physically and mentally can't take this untrusting paranoid seperation anymore, on top of bpd. I'm out of drive, care, stability of emotions just everything. And I don't have support system. Nothing works. Please, I want sleep and die and not wake up. Hoping someone know how to make it happen.

Thanks for reading.

13 replies

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In response to: TW: Simply Done.

Unknown userMember11 Jan 2023, 1:01 pm AEDT

Re: TW: Simply Done.

@WL1 YAY FOR THE INTERNET! I couldn't imagine going through some of this stuff without it.

It sounds like a great idea to speak to your GP about HRT. My mum is menopausal right now and is about to start HRT. I don't think she knew much about it before either.

And if you're worried about side-effects, your GP (hopefully!) will be the best person to speak to about managing them or finding alternatives. I know everyone has different experiences of meds, and I'm sorry that's been yours with some other medications ❤️

If you're GP isn't familiar with a lot of this, I wonder if there is another GP or telehealth you could find which specialises in menopause?

In response to: TW: Simply Done.

WL1Contributor11 Jan 2023, 1:22 pm AEDT

Re: TW: Simply Done.

@hanami thank you so much for the information 🙏 seriously no one talks about perimenopause. It's an absolute shock to go through it. The worst part is it crept up on me bit by bit.

The book sounds interesting. I need to get back into reading books so thank you for the suggestion ❤

In response to: Re: TW: Simply Done.

WL1Contributor11 Jan 2023, 1:54 pm AEDT

Re: TW: Simply Done.

Hi @Former-Member

It's good when there's people who have understanding of what you're going through. I found out that the highest rate of suicide in women is 45 to 56. I read an article from a man who talked about his wife taking her life because she went to a bunch of GPs and none of them thought perimenopause was a factor. And he feels bad because he didn't take her more seriously. So now he's trying to educate people.

I live in a small country town so there's not alot of services. But my GP is pretty nice so I can ask him what he thinks. I'm thinking of moving closer to a capital city when my 16 year old moves out in a couple of years. He's got alot of activities he's involved in locally so I'm stuck here until he moves out. He's gonna join the defence force when he finishes school. And my other child has special needs so it would suit both of us to be closer to the city and more services.

Thanks again for being here. The information and suggestions are appreciated 🤗

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