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DBT skills conflict

Member156Casual Contributor

DBT skills conflict

Looking for any tips on how to effectively communicate with my pwbpd.

Recently moved out for my own mental health and that of our child. I no longer have romantic feelings for my husband with BPD, doing my best to facilitate a relationship between him and his child.

Unfortunately his focus is on recovering the family unit and will not accept my need to leave and heal myself.

He uses D.E.A.R. man skills on me and insists I take the middle path to make him feel safe (ie commit to a relationship and probably move back in with him)

I repeat that I don't want to live together and i don't have feelings, he slips into depression etc and always says it hurts and I'm not walking the middle path and helping his needs.

Any advice on DBT language I can say back to him? It feels with all his therapy, he's much more skilful and its making me feel guilty.

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In response to: DBT skills conflict

GwynnSenior Contributor

Re: DBT skills conflict

As another thought, you may be his "favourite person" and that's why he spirals when you tell him you're leaving. SANE recommends BPD Australia's Family Connections course, it could be helpful. https://www.bpdaustralia.org/about-family-connections/
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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.

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