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I messed up again

KeishaCasual Contributor27 Dec 2022, 4:56 am AEDT

I messed up again

it feels like whenever things are going well, I somehow do something to just mess everything up.

I can't deal with it anymore this illness is wreaking relationships, friendships and my relationship with myself, I've tried to get help but everyone just seems to not care or just not understand.

Everybody keeps leaving and I can't keep getting hurt anymore cause ik soon I won't be able to deal with it anymore.

I'm so scared I'm going to lose my bf/ bsf because I did something that rocked the boat and I can't lose the one person who actually cared and gave a shit what I said.

I just want to get help so my mental health doesn't keep getting in the way and messing things up with the people that I love because they can't take it and I can't either anymore.

I just don't deserve to be loved for this, I deserve nothing and I feel nothing, I feel like crap all the time now and even when I'm feeling okay I somehow do something to make me upset.
I just don't feel like living anymore tbh and I haven't for a while now, I just want this illness to stop but idk the best way

3 replies

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In response to: I messed up again

PrincessLettuceSenior Contributor27 Dec 2022, 4:13 pm AEDT

Re: I messed up again

Hi @Keisha ,

I'm sorry to hear that you've been having such a hard time at the moment.

You mentioned that you're getting help. I'm glad to hear that you're getting support. What sorts of things do you do to manage these thoughts or feelings?

- PrincessLettuce

In response to: Re: I messed up again

KeishaCasual Contributor27 Dec 2022, 5:39 pm AEDT

Re: I messed up again

@PrincessLettuce

Hi, thanks for replying it means alot.

And at the moment nothing is really helping, but I use to dunk my head in cold water for a few seconds because idk it just helps. And talking to my bf helps but we are on a break so it's hard because overthinking led to the point where I just think he doesn't care. I don have many things to help and like I said nothing is working at the moment so I'm just stuck with myself and idk what to do, I can't manage my emotions properly cause they always get to intense and I can't deal with it usually

- Keisha

In response to: Re: I messed up again

BookwormSenior Contributor27 Dec 2022, 7:54 pm AEDT

Re: I messed up again

Hi @Keisha ,

Those intense emotions sound like they can get tricky to manage. It's great to see you reaching out for support, that can often be a useful tool to help us process those difficult emotions. Please remember to keep reaching out for support and getting the help you deserve.

Kind regards,

Bookworm

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