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Finally diagnosed with Complex PTSD

Finally diagnosed with Complex PTSD

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I have been diagnosed with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and my life's journey of traumatic events / abuse began when I was only 2 or 3.

I have endured many forms of abuse and it has been throughout my 65 years of life. The final abuse that totally did me in was in 2018. I have not been me ever since. But looking back, I never got to be the me I was born to be because the creep next door sexually abused me when I was only 2 or 3 years old. My eldest sister says she remembers me changing almost overnight, but she never knew why. She said I had been bubbly and danced all the time and then I just stopped and that little girl never appeared again. I have been sexually abused multiple times throughout life, and suffered other forms of abuse too ... including neglect. I don't even know how to be who I was born to be, or even just feel safe with people. I have a psychologist who tries to help me, but I have lost so much and I just don't know how to live like other people do. I am isolated and alone, and I cannot risk trusting anyone.

10 replies

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In response to: Finally diagnosed with Complex PTSD

Re: Finally diagnosed with Complex PTSD

Hi @Tinkerbelle , I'm sorry to hear about the many forms of abuse you have suffered all your life 😞


@Tinkerbelle wrote:

I am isolated and alone, and I cannot risk trusting anyone.


I am hoping you can begin to trust your therapist a bit? I have found it very healing to open up to my therapist about past abuse...

In any case, we can listen, here on the forums.

A handy forum tip is if you type @ and then click on a name in the drop-down box, that person will get a notification and won't miss your reply.

In response to: Finally diagnosed with Complex PTSD

Re: Finally diagnosed with Complex PTSD

Hi @Tinkerbelle ,

I hear you. There is no question the devastation and the impact of childhood sexual abuse. It never leaves your body or your mind. It can rip through your life experiences and at the very core you may never ever be able to truly develop the capacity to feel safe or to trust. I know this and I feel this. It is isolating on a profound scale. It is something that I struggle to ever fully explain as there are no words in human language to truly describe the impact. I really struggle to have hope for the future. All I can try to hold on to is someday, somehow, I find safe people to walk along side me for moments in time. And someday, somehow I find enough pockets of time where I feel safe enough to learn how to turn down the volume of trauma.

I want to acknowledge the courage you have in speaking your truth @Tinkerbelle .

In response to: Re: Finally diagnosed with Complex PTSD

Re: Finally diagnosed with Complex PTSD

Thank you for your heart felt understanding. At least here we can be with others who truly understand. Your supportive words are very much appreciated. May we both find our way. xx

In response to: Re: Finally diagnosed with Complex PTSD

Re: Finally diagnosed with Complex PTSD

Thank you Nature Lover

In response to: Finally diagnosed with Complex PTSD

Re: Finally diagnosed with Complex PTSD

Hi @Tinkerbelle.

you are not alone. There are many of us and the good news is that there has been a ton on research in these areas and some really effective treatments for trauma related conditions including CPTSD.

make sure you get yourself a legit trauma informed therapist. You can search for one by contacting the ISSTD (international society for the study of trauma and dissociation) they have heaps of psychologist who are registered in Australia. You can also contact the Blue knot foundation as they also have a directory of trauma informed psychologist.

my advise to you. Dont simply believe any psychologist who says that they have experience treating Trauma and PTDS. Many have no idea and end up making things worse. You can increase your chances of getting a good one by getting one through the places that I mentioned above.

If there is anything else you want to know please feel free to ask and I will try to give you my best advice.

in terms of trust. You dont need to trust right now. Your trust has been broken and it’s going to take a lot of time and healing to start to trust again. The first step is establishing your own safety the creating a positive and secure attachments with an appropriate person. You will learn all about this when you find a good trauma psychologist

In response to: Finally diagnosed with Complex PTSD

Re: Finally diagnosed with Complex PTSD

Hi @Tinkerbelle and welcome to the forums.

Like you, I have had a long history of many forms of abuse and live with CPTSD among other things (both physical and mental) but I can finally say, with help, I am in a much better place. It has taken a long, long time and multiple psychologists but with their help, my past psychiatrist (who I no longer see) and my amazing GP, I am now at a point where I can live life a bit better. I have gone back to work full time (been 3 years now) and am more confident within myself to do other things (when I want - I don't push myself but I am more than happy being at home on my own with my fur babies).

I am saying all this to give you hope - there was a time I had none and the wonderful people here on the forums and at SANE held that out for me. I still have many moments/days where I struggle and many times where things get to me, trigger me, have an adverse affect ...but I reach out to those in my team and here on the forum for help in those times. Reaching out for help takes courage - and you have shown so much to do that here. I hope we can be an extra bit of support for you - welcome to the community.

In response to: Re: Finally diagnosed with Complex PTSD

Re: Finally diagnosed with Complex PTSD

Thank you

In response to: Re: Finally diagnosed with Complex PTSD

Re: Finally diagnosed with Complex PTSD

Thank you

In response to: Re: Finally diagnosed with Complex PTSD

Re: Finally diagnosed with Complex PTSD

Thank you xx

In response to: Re: Finally diagnosed with Complex PTSD

Re: Finally diagnosed with Complex PTSD

Thank you
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