Shattered mirror

Hi, new here.

I have BPD, depression and ptsd. I'm struggling so much with who I am, or rather a lack of who I am. I feel such a lack of identity it'hard to take which is leading me to have suicidal thoughts.

When I look inward and try to assess who I am, what I stand for etc, it's like I'm looking at a shattered mirror which each peice representing a totally separate identity. But none of them link or join, they're all separate.

I've wondered if I have multiple personalities at times but I don't think so. I think it's because I lack a single one.

I don't really know why I'm writing this to be honest as forums haven't helped in the past.

I'd opt out today but I have people who love me and depend on me. I feel like a fake, a fraud and dissociate so badly at times it's like I'm watching a movie through someone else's eyes.

Anyway, I'm not expecting any responses or advice.. I don't think anyone can help me.