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my story...

BillieContributor23 Oct 2016, 9:57 pm AEDT

my story...

Hello,

I have been told I have BPD traits but I am still waiting for the psych appointment for a diagnosis. I have been struggling with extreme emotions, mood swings and impulsive behaviour for as long as I could remember and its finally starting to make sence why.

I have also had depression for at least 10 years, I am 25. I was sexually assulted last year which has made everything so much harder, and had pushed me down into a very dark place. Sometimes the thought of suicide becomes so overwhelming I just want to escape.

I have so much trouble making and keeping relationships, it is so hard to connect with people when you feel so different. I feel so alone I just wish I had someone that understood and didnt judge. I just wish it wasnt all so hard. I dont really know why im reading this im just wanting to get if off my chest.

12 replies

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In response to: my story...

KurraSenior Contributor23 Oct 2016, 10:47 pm AEDT

Re: my story...

Hi @Billie,

Reaching out on a forum like this is frequently a very difficult thing to do. I'm glad you've found us because many of us have found being a part of this community has helped way beyond what you might expect.

We have several people here who have have been diagnosed with BPD or BPD traits. I imagine you feel

In response to: my story...

KurraSenior Contributor23 Oct 2016, 10:56 pm AEDT

Re: my story...

as if you're in a no man's land while you're waiting for the appointment with the psychiatrist.
This is a good time to reach out for sources of additional support. I personally have no experience with BPD however @BlueBay @Former-Member and @Former-Member should be able to much better than I can.

Keep posting. They're 're a friendly, caring mob on SANE. Do sleep well. Talk tomorrow evening.

In response to: Re: my story...

BillieContributor23 Oct 2016, 10:59 pm AEDT

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, it does m...

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, it does make me feel a little better

In response to: my story...

KurraSenior Contributor23 Oct 2016, 11:12 pm AEDT

Re: my story...

Is there anything you want to talk about @Billie? It's a strange feeling when you've been given a bit of information but then you have to wait to find out more. 🎶💕

In response to: my story...

Unknown userMember23 Oct 2016, 11:16 pm AEDT

Re: my story...

Hey @Billie

Welcome to our little forum and I think you will definately find understanding, respect and support here.

It's always a time of mixed emotions receiving a diagnosis. No one really wants the "label" of a mental illness but on the other hand it can be a relief to know why you feel so bad at times and what is the best treatment for your condition.

You have had a terrible time since last year and it takes time to recover and work through those strong emotions like anger, guilt, shame or fear. I hope you connect with a good therapist and other supports that can help you get through this.

Have a look around the various threads in Lived Experience to see what interests you and I look forward to chatting with you on the forums.

kind regards,

Frog

In response to: Re: my story...

BillieContributor23 Oct 2016, 11:18 pm AEDT

Thank you, I guess I'm just reaching out because Im am ge...

Thank you, I guess I'm just reaching out because Im am getting so frustrated with myself for being this way, and I just feel like im never going to have a descent connection with anyone.

In response to: my story...

Misty1Senior Contributor24 Oct 2016, 1:23 am AEDT

Re: my story...

Hi @Billie, I am also new to this forum. I wrote on here yesterday for the first tme. Although strangely, it feels a lot longer than 24hrs ago. I think I was in a bit of a crisis.

The people who responded, were so understanding, caring and helpful. I am really amazend that complete strangers could have such a positive impact. It has surprised me that talking to people in such a way as this, has been so useful. I think it has something to do with not feeling like you are battling something huge, all on your own. There are so many people on here who have similar struggles and experiences. It helped me to know that other people could relate to how I felt.

I hope you get as much comfort from here as I have.

Good luck with everything...

In response to: Re: my story...

BillieContributor24 Oct 2016, 12:15 pm AEDT

Re: my story...

Hi @Misty1, thank for commenting. The people on here seem so caring, i guess im getting to the point where Im not ashamed to ask for help anymore. All the best with you 🙂

In response to: Re: my story...

Misty1Senior Contributor24 Oct 2016, 12:48 pm AEDT

Re: my story...

@Billie, I find it REALLY hard to ask for help..... I think it is strange that we feel SO hesitant to ask for help. I would give it in a heartbeat if I had the means to help someone else...but I can't ask...very frustrating!

In response to: Re: my story...

BillieContributor24 Oct 2016, 3:22 pm AEDT

Re: my story...

I feel the same, i guess its the judgement of having an invisible illness that I am afraid of

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