Just got my diagnosis!

Hello everyone yesterday I was given the diagnosis of BPD. It filled me with fear, shock, denial, shame and relief at the same time. Fear - how do I deal with this? I cannot change my personality!! Shock at BPD- it carries a lot of stigma!! Denial- It can't be my personality!! Shame to be labelled with a problematic Personality. Relief- at last I have answers and they make sense and fit in with my life and personal conduct! I have lived away from my family for the past 20 years and suffered a lot with loneliness, isolation and roller coaster moods with intense repeated thoughts about not wanting to be alive. I was initially diagnosed with severe depression and then Premenstrual tension syndrome was added to that. No treatmenet and counselling really changed anything for me. Every month I would explode like a volcano into rage because I felt someone was rude or worse insensitive towards me. And it took days to forget about it and think rationally. Then shame would wash over me. And the cycle repeated itself. At it's very core my greatest fear of losing someone close to me. This ruined friendships and relationships, it even cost me my job twice! I lost through my own irrational fear for abandonment and rage my boyfriend recently and I find myself without friends. I don't want to meet new people through fear of hurting them too. For many years I am called behind my back as well as to my face The Nutter!! I would like to fight for myself and become the better person that I know I can be. I had no idea where to start and therefore I write to this forum. If you have read thus far thank you for taking the time to read this post