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Time to accept defeat again!

RazzaContributor21 Oct 2016, 6:16 pm AEDT

Time to accept defeat again!

It's been a bad month, bad thoughts are happening again which isn't good. I used to be able to identify the trigger and either substitute or eliminate through coping mechanisms! I have been working first job for like 14 months now since I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. Being stubborn I went off my meds slowly and accepted the challenge ahead hoping in the back of my mind my illness is just a one off thing I get better and live happily ever after. Wasn't I mistaken! My thoughts are coming back twice three times a day now and it's hard not slipping into the zone out stage again where I lose control of my mind. So,sadly I've accepted defeat and seeking help again through my gp and being referred to be on a mental health plan again:( and back on meds! It breaks my heart having no control! All I want to do is be normal again!

5 replies

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In response to: Time to accept defeat again!

CherryBombSenior Contributor21 Oct 2016, 6:47 pm AEDT

Re: Time to accept defeat again!

Hi @Razza

I can hear the sound of defeat in your post. It can totally feel disappointing going back on meds, but please don't take this a though you've failed. It's ok - even 'normal' - to have a lapse. It's more often than not a sign pointing to something that can be worked on and improved. Use this as teacher that can teach you about what you might do different next time. What would change if you were to try and take yourself off meds agai?

I always think of recovery as like a jigsaw puzzle, it can take time to find the right pieces, which can involve times of fiddling around with pieces that don't work.

CherryBomb

In response to: Time to accept defeat again!

utopiaSenior Contributor21 Oct 2016, 10:27 pm AEDT

Re: Time to accept defeat again!

@Razza. I've previously been off my anti depressants - I ended up feeling suicidal. Si I niw accept they are part of being healthy. Justvlike exercise, good diet, good sleep and good friends.
It's hard to hear you say you don't feel normal because you need medication t I help with a medical illness. If you needed insulin - you would not think of coming off the medication. The same should apply with a MI. It is still simply an illness.
Just thinking it might be a good place to look into - how you feel about having a MI & having to take medication. Especially if you feel good when you were on medication.
There was recently a Webinar on Stigma in Mental Health. Sometimes - it could be that we are putting the stigma / labels on ourselves - not other people.

In response to: Re: Time to accept defeat again!

RazzaContributor21 Oct 2016, 10:41 pm AEDT

Re: Time to accept defeat again!

It's just hard at the moment! Really appreciate the feed back it helps! Putting myself back in the system with counciling and meds is for the best! My story is hard to elaborate on with I know let alone with people I don't know

In response to: Time to accept defeat again!

utopiaSenior Contributor21 Oct 2016, 10:55 pm AEDT

Re: Time to accept defeat again!

@Razza. Sorry. I find it easier to talk on here. I have to remember that no everyone else does.
I'm glad you are getting help again.

In response to: Time to accept defeat again!

utopiaSenior Contributor26 Oct 2016, 9:15 am AEDT

Re: Time to accept defeat again!

@Razza. Just wanted to check how you are feeling today.
If you ever need to talk - this is a safe and nonjudgmental place to do so.
I hope things start improving for you soon.

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