This is a very important discussion. Thank you so much for starting this thread, @2angels...
Firstly, can I start by saying please please please don't fall into the trap of feeling weak about currently (or for ever) needing psych drugs to battle the demons inherent in serious mental health disorders such as bipolar...
This is a measurement thing, in my opinion. We all do it so often in our lives... measure... how bad is this, how good is this?
Measurement is an important thing in staying alive... our ancestors survived to pass their DNA onto us because they measured... how fast is that sabre-toothed tiger... how deep is that water I am about to dive into? How much water and food do I have...
Where measurement becomes counter-productive is in the world of our thoughts...
We start to measure how bad off we are... how bad is my depression or anxiety or (hypo)mania? How does it compare to another? Why aren't I better, measured against what I believe should be my current state of existence?
All of this measuring...
A very important thing about measuring is this - you cannot measure something against something else if there is no common measurement unit...
Things like distance... easy... metres, miles, yards, light years, whatever... there are standard agreed-upon units of measurement...
Pain... mental health...
These have no standard units of measurement, for they are about as subjective, individual and personal as it gets in life...
So... why do we try to measure our apples against someone else's oranges, I wonder...
Hahaha... this is what it is like to be insane...
And most humans are... just about all of us are insane...
Us peeps with diagnosed mental health issues? Well, we just know that we've got issues... most everyone else thinks things are just fine most of the time... but... we know the truth... things aren't just fine most of the time...
But we find ways to deal with life and our place in it... sometimes that involves medication, sometimes it involves talk therapy, sometimes it involves going to a quiet spot and staring at something soothing like the waves of the ocean for a while...
Measuring what it takes to get through our own individual lives, or measuring what is actually wrong with us... that has some use, but it is not the most important thing there is...
Sometimes, we need to put down the ruler, and instead pick up whatever is needed to make our own individual lives better in this moment...
I am diagnosed bipolar 2, but odds are that I am bipolar 1 (undiagnosed) because I have not had a psychotic break or manic episode... but I've had lots of rapid cycling and mixed episodes, which by the mental health manuals suggests I am bipolar 1...
Just more measurement, really...
I am me... learning to survive me is my aim in life... learning to be a positive instead of a negative in other people's lives, that is also my aim in life... which kind of requires more measurement along the way... hahaha...
Trapped with a tape measure in our hands, we inch along this journey of our lives...
I have never been on psych meds... that does not invalidate your own personal experiences, pain, suffering, needs, motivations and life choices...
Having said that... I drink alcohol and smoke weed in order to do the job of mood and energy stabilisation that psych meds would do...
So far, the side effects have been very manageable, and the collateral damage has been minimal...
But if that ever changed for the worse because of my changing condition, I would take out my tape measure, get a feel for what was what, and apply whatever measures needed to survive being me...
Hugs and happy vibes beaming to you... thanks again for starting this very important conversation... 🙂
