Losing the will to live

Hey @Historylover I noticed the change in your pic to darker hues.

Glad @Bunniekins and @Former-Member have been here for you.

Hope the challenging event works out.

Here to talk if you want.

Hey there @Appleblossom. Feeling awful, at the moment. I finished my Aboriginal Issues course early weeks ago. The vibes were unpleasant. My teacher tore my 1st and 3rd assignments apart because she is the one I trod on sacred inter-racial grounds unintentionally with, and because she wields the power. I knew she would. I got an HD for my second assignment when another teacher marked it. I was determined not to let any of them get to me, because they have made me feel all year as if university is only for the likes of them, for the young, only for those whom they could brainwash, only for those who have passed through the system before. I always wanted to strive to be the best I could be, but decided weeks ago that I had had enough of that university and would try another. I enrolled for a physiology class elsewhere and withdrew today. I am just so upset that I can scarcely process thought. Her criticisms were thoroughly personal yet hadn't upset me. I actually just smiled disdainfully as I read them. They were absurd, caused by her anger and hypersensitivity. I have been fighting in their cultural corner for 30 years, and now I hate the sight of them. They think they are the only ones who have suffered, who have been robbed and deprived of everything. I hear of things like Casuarina and Banksia Hill and the treatment of Aboriginal young, and I want not to care anymore. I took such pride in making my ppt presentation on the truth and justice commission. I fought their fight with them and why? I am just an ignorant white woman. I don't have a fight to fight anymore. And apparently I just don't understand. I am thoroughly bewildered. Censored.

I feel down too. I don't know how much more I can go on.

Thanks for noticing my change of picture @Appleblossom. I think it is beautiful, but I'm wondering if it's just because I'm feeling like I need to move on, need a change, because I'm feeling dark or if it's because I spent quite a few hours in the National Gallery yesterday. It was blissful. I stayed until sensory overload. I haven't been in the city, and certainly not that part, for several decades. It was so lovely to see my cityscape from the (Swanston Street? bridge) and remember why I love this city so. Anyway, I do love the picture of Venice at sunset. A fascinating world we live in, isn't it?

My pouring out of my heart post has just been censored, @Appleblossom.

Hey @Anonymous653,

Sorry to hear you're feeling so low. Sitting with you and sending hugs 💜

I am pleased that you found this post to link to, my friend. I'm sorry to read that you are feeling low too. Things just mount up on us some time, don't they? I don't know what I can say to you @Anonymous653 to lift your spirits. Here is my only support as I have no-one else and the going is just tough sometimes. Have you thought of making a post on 'New Discussions' on the opening page. It usually happens that a number of others will respond and it's always good for our spirits when people rally for us. Or you can just stick around here if you wish.

Hello green pea I am David 7 been feeling pretty down suicidal been through homelessness addiction betrayal emotional abuse got scammed out of fifty thousand dollars lucky to be alive and not homeless or drug addicted I suppose feel free to chat to me I am funny wise and good company much love David 💯✅

Hello @David7. There are a few tricks to learning your way around here, and one is if you wish to message someone in particular, type @ and a dropbox will appear of people linked to that thread, and then you just have to click on their name and it will appear as eg. @David7. They will then get a message in their inbox, just as you will have done from this response. That is quite a load you're carrying. I'm sorry to read of your dreadful experiences. I am pleased you're battling on with it all. I have had a big day, @David7, have yet to do my dishes and then I'm turning in for the night. I wish you a goodnight. Perhaps you'll be about tomorrow, or you may like to post on the general forum. There are usually others who'll respond. Sending good wishes to you.

Oh @Historylover

Hearing you about your frustrations. Did I tell you I had to "fight back" with an overdone over conflated introduction to a workshop. long story. Its sad to lose people to the cause who have been concerned and involved and against violence. I am seeing people who are overly militant about it as sad, but no longer my circus or monkees.

Sorry you were censored both on here and variously by the people in your course.

The truth is those things can sap one's will to live. I am very wary of signing up for more HECS especially with the interest rate rise. Thinking of dancing instead and doing a little bit of work alternate Wednesday nights.

Take care of yourself as you do for others ...