Losing the will to live

Sitting with you @Historylover 💜

Thank you for reaching out to me, @Former-Member. I don't think we've even met before. I really need to know someone gives a damn about me. My life is hell, but I'm stuck in it for now. Thank you, thank you.

No, I don't think we have. Sorry that you're having a rough time 💔.

What kind of history do you love? Just going out on a whim with the name..... @Historylover

Thank you, @Willy. I had a lovely day today, but when I came home I felt like it had been my last hurrah. Nothing is going right anymore, and tomorrow will bring an event I am anticipating will not work out well. I will have to wait and see.

Yes, I wish there were other ways we could reach out too. Many times I have wished for that. I thought of seeking out a psychiatrist as I really need to talk this out but, in my world, they are all the same and just turn a blind eye to what my ex-psychiatrist did to me. The thought of confiding in another psychiatrist who will construct all manner of imaginary disorders (because he's the 'expert') when all I need is help to reconcile my life-threatening situation. I can't fix it on my own as I know that my ex-psychiatrist left no loose ends for me to escape the trap he set for me. It is distressing beyond measure. I just plod on as best I can, and sometimes I can't. It becomes more than I can bear.

Well, while I am a lover of history, @Former-Member, I'm not a lover of my own. I just love the traces of the very distant past that is left behind for us to 'read' and appreciate, and perhaps wonder a little about what our current cultures will leave behind. When I was much younger and with a narrow appreciation of the world, I used to think that ours was the most intelligent and skilled age, then I came face to face with historical realities. History is fascinating.

Yep, it is very interesting! We started watching a documentary series last night about industrial (pyramid style) structures they believe to be earlier than the Egyptian ones.... Fascinating @Historylover

Maybe you are more of an anthropologist?

Not so much an anthropologist @Former-Member, even though I include it among my interests. I just love times past that I had previously dismissed and am grateful to have reached out beyond my previously narrow world. I love, love, love all fine arts of times past, and also present, of course. I would love to tour the new Egyptian museum, etc. but I don't want to travel on my own anymore. I wanted to take my family on this 'appreciative tour of all things magnificent' when I discovered it, but their interests are not mine and never have been. I have never fitted in my family of birth, or my own.

I didn't see the program you've referred to. Must have been immersed with something else or it may not have been free to air, as mine is. Sounds fascinating. Sometimes, we are just spoiled for choice with our viewing.

One more s

upport here 🤔

I started to reply to your other post, @David7, but it disappeared. So, I guess I can only say that sometimes the going becomes more than we can bear. When it gets that way for me, I reach out here and it is so wonderful to receive support from our fellow forumites. The trouble is, when I am not reaching out here because I'm at my lowest ebb, I've got too little else to make my life meaningful even though I try to make it purposeful. It's more than difficult. It's intolerable too often. I hope you're not doing too badly, my friend. We're owed some good things in life too.